What a Privilege!

Psalm 27:8
    "8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”"

I found this verse in the course of my daily readings, and it called to me! It invokes a picture in my mind, a picture of a young child feeling lost; a parent calling them back home and the child's joy at being found. A picture of a lover in a garden, who senses her true love is on his way and runs to meet him. Or maybe just the joy of my heart hearing my God and knowing that all I have ever wanted it to be with Him! Sometime in the late 90's there was a song on Christian radio that expressed this feeling for me, it was called What a Privilege, by Cheri Keaggy. My sister and I sang it at church a time or too, and it comes back to me on days when I feel like I am in desperate need of just sitting in the presence of my God.

I've expressed my love of talking on more then one occasion in my blogging, and how I have tried to learn to be still in His presence. While I still believe that is my goal, it's so nice to see in His word that he enjoys listening to me. This verse invokes a relationship picture too, not just one way communication thing. I think I've also blogged about my love of Disney as well (if not, you can see it here in my sometimes blog Disney Fan) and one of my many favorite Disney movies is Aladdin. There is a scene in that movie where the Genie is explaining what he'd wish for if he could have a wish. I think we sometimes view God in the same way that Genie's masters have viewed him. He say's he'd like Not to have to go "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need," "Poof! Whaddaya need?".  How often do we view God in that manner? The magic Genie of the great beyond? I know I've viewed prayer in that way a time or too, God give me this, God do this for me, God I want, I want, I want. But that is NOT how God longs for our relationship to be with Him, He wants to sit in that garden with us and talk, an implacation of TWO way conversation!

Thinking of my relationship with Him in that light gives me a whole new persective on my relationship with Him. I wouldn't want a relationship with any human where it was all about them, what makes me think that God would be ok with a relationship with me that was all one sided? It makes it feel easy, to converse and be at ease. The second part of that verse says And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” When I read those words, I feel the longing of the Psalmist to be with our Lord and sit for awhile. I sense these feelings strongly, and maybe that is because I feel them too. I feel my heart responding the same way "Lord, I am coming!!" as I run to join Him. I had intended to write about two other verses today as well as this one, but God had other plans for me. Enjoy your time with God today...sit and talk with Him for awhile!

Exciting discoveries!!! :-)

Romans 8:26-29
     "26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believerst in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work togethert for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstbornt among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory."

I found myself having a pity party yesterday morning. I was lying in bed waiting for my husband to be done in the bathroom and trying to pray; when I found myself having that pity party about my lack of progress in the "baby making" department. When I find myself in that situation I start to feel pretty guilty, since I've been trying to wait on His will and all of that; but yesterday I kept trying to pray what my heart was feeling and kept tripping over my words. I felt that everything I was saying was directly refuted in scripture but it was still the cry of my heart. I finally took this particular verse to heart and just let the Holy Spirit pray for me.

I think maybe with my love of talking that I sometimes get in the way of my prayers. I feel like I try and make my words into what God wants to hear, when I'm sure He just wants to hear my heart. I have always been a sucker for a guilt trip; and the Devil knows this and he uses it to his advantage all of the time. As I'm pouring out my heart to God, telling Him how sad I am that my arms are still empty, Satan will pull out his "trump" card and whisper some verse in my ear that makes me feel like I shouldn't be praying the way that I am...that scripture says "such and such" and my prayer is in direct conflict with that. God showed me this verse this morning for a reason. I think He's trying to tell me that if I feel conflicted in my prayer time, that I just have to let the Holy Spirit take over and then Satan loses that stronghold over me that he has.

Of course then, I saw verse 28, "And we know that God causes everything to work togethert for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.", and I'm led to smile again because He does work all things for His good, for me, who has been called according to His purpose! What a wonderful feeling that is, to know that I have been called according to His purpose for me! I am finding my reading time this year a little ironic; normally I identify with Peter more then I do with Paul, but this year Paul is really speaking to me in a way that I haven't noticed before. The book of Romans can be hard to read, because Paul is asking questions and answering his own questions in a pretty confusing way, but if you dig a little there are some pretty awesome gems in this book! Verse 28 is a fairly famous verse in the Christian world, but for some reason, I've been really identifying with being called according to His purposes!


"28 And we know that God causes everything to work togethert for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstbornt among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory." These words give me chills they are so powerful! God KNEW me in advance. Psalm 139 speaks of this as well, but Paul takes it one step more; he says we are CHOSEN, CALLED, RIGHT and given glory! Just think about those words for a few minutes. How many of us long to be those very same things? Chosen, I've longed to be the popular one, the "pretty" one or even just the one for the job many times, but these verses say I AM the one for His job in me...I AM called by Him to do something amazing, He HAS given me righteousness and glory! God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good! I get excited seeing these words, and reading them and LIVING them! Thank you so much God for everything you've done!

Nuggets of the Word

Proverbs 19:20

     "20 Get all the advice and instruction you can,
 so you will be wise the rest of your life.

I found several "nuggets" of truth that applied to me today! The first one is Proverbs 19:20. I had been reading in the old testament about how Solomon asked God for wisdom, and that God granted that to him; in fact told him he'd be the wisest king ever. So when I got to Proverbs (largely written by King Solomon) I had to stop and listen to his advice on wisdom. I read the words with a sense of awe. It really is simple advice, but, I admit, sometimes it is the simple things that through me for a loop! I have been hearing a lot lately that I need to be in the Word of God (which I am) and it occurs to me that there is no better place to receive instruction then in God's Word. The part that struck me is the getting advice. I have a tendency to be a "lone ranger" in my faith. I have questions all of the time, but I tend to ask them in my head and not to someone who might be able to help me figure it out. I do go to my husband a lot; he's just really smart that way; but I feel like I could be seeking more advice about my faith. I want to be wise, I have prayed for it a lot, but I see from this verse that I may have some work to do to get to that point. If I didn't work for the goal though, would it really be worth it? I think not; so work I must. I think I'm going to seek out some wise people and start asking more of my faith questions! 


Proverbs 19:21
     "21 You can make many plans,
but the Lord’s purpose will prevail."

The very next verse; Proverbs 19:21, is something that I have to remember. I have been praying and praying for a baby; as I've stated several times in my blog, to what seems like no avail. This verse nearly threw its self at me this morning. "You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail." I really, REALLY want the Lord's will to prevail in my life, and I have been a life long planner; so reading this verse brings to mind my ways are not HIS ways and that I really do need to wait patiently on the Lord. It also brings to mind the saying "good things come to those who wait"! I may need to not make plans for awhile here and just let the Lord lead me, learn to trust Him and know that He won't drop me. That is a VERY scary sentence to write for me. My heart actually started beating harder just writing it! I have survived doing this before, and survived very well, but it still scares me silly! How does one just trust that everything will be fine and will turn out ok? I believe that when I read it, but I just don't think my heart and head have gotten together on this one yet. I also feel hope in this verse as well, even if I plan for something that isn't good, or in His will; HIS PURPOSE WILL PREVAIL! Thank God that His purpose prevails!

Psalm 16:5
    "5 Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine."

This verse as well, speaks to me. I long for a baby with just about every breath; but I need to learn that the Lord ALONE is my inheritance, I do not need anything else. This is another one of those verses that hurts as much as it helps. I am not so sure how to write about this without making God sound like He's got me under His thumb; but I really feel like God is saying that it's ok if I don't have a baby because I have Him and He's so much better then any human (the last part is from me...not God!). Because of Him my cup is full to over flowing! I have a great life, and it's not right of me to spend it just moping because God hasn't given me what I THINK I need. I have a wonderful husband, a good job and some of the best friends in the world, not to mention a loving and supporting family; what more could a girl ask for? I don't want to discredit that God may give me a baby when the timing is right; but I do want to rest in the knowledge that I have HIM, and because of that my cup is full!

What the study reveals...

Psalm 8:4
    "4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?"

Psalm 9:10
    "10 Those who know your name trust in you,
for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

Two wonderful verses that I've run across lately in my devotionals from Psalms have captured me. They seem to be two very "unrelated" thoughts, but somehow they are very connected in my mind. The first one isn't so much a promise, but an "awe thought". Why does God care about us or, more specifically, ME? Why does He want to care for me and nurture me, as He does? It seems He's so big and I'm so small; why would He even notice me, let alone be mindful of me? It never ceases to amaze me how much my God loves me, He will never stop caring for me and leading me toward His will.

How do I begin to wrap my head around that? I can't, I've tried and I just don't understand it. Let me tell you all right now, I am NOT perfect; I fail on a daily basis. I've mentioned before that I sometimes end up speaking before I think things through all the way, and this has gotten me into trouble more times then I care to count. I have other sins as well, but the Psalmist reminded me that God still loves me, that He's still thinking of me at all times.

I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts into words on this, I don't seem to know what exactly I want to say; or how to say it for that matter. The second verse gives me something as well, I have been searching for patience all year long; and finding it in some aspects. When the Psalmist reminded me that "for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you", I was floored...again! How could I forget that? The Lord has NEVER forsaken those who seek Him, and I have been in a quest to seek Him; so I have a sort of confidence that He won't forsake me.

I want to be responsible to both of these verses, I want to remember that God IS thinking of me, He DOES have my best in mind; and the He won't ever forsake me...especially if I am seeking Him. I think that writing this blog is helpful for me, at least as far as remembering these things goes. Ever once in awhile I go through and read what I've written and notice how I've learned such awesome things this year. I can't believe where I am compared to where I began. That being said, I still have a LONG way to go; and that in and of its self is something that I've learned by embarking on this journey too. It seems somewhat ironic to me, but by learning so much, I find I only have so much more to learn.

Thank You, Jesus for teaching me, and continuing to remind me of everything You are doing in my life! Help me to continue to seek You and remember that You love me and won't forsake me!

Challenge in Patience update 1 - Still praying!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
     "16 Rejoice always,17 pray continually,18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

It's now been one month since I started praying for "my five", as I've dubbed them. I've noticed a pattern in my prayer. I still tend to leave two of the people off of my list, I'll fall asleep before I get to them or something will distract me. I'm not sure if this means that these particular people are "less worrisome" or if the Devil is purposely distracting me from them. I have made an effort to pray for them in the last several days.

Updates, I'm super excited to report that witnessing has happened to two of my five! My husband was able to sit down with them and have a great conversation about Religion vs. Relationship and I'm excited to say they were both somewhat open to the idea! God is working in these peoples lives and I'm so excited to be a part of that. I pray for them daily that another chance will open up and conversations can be had with them.

I haven't "seen" any other results that I know of, but I do know that I can keep praying and that mighty things can happen through those prayers! God can do awesome things and I know that He has big things planned for these five individuals as well! GO GOD, GO!

Here is to the next month in praying, after all what good is a Challenge in Patience if I'm not participating in it?

What a Journey!!

John 15:4-8
    "4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.8 This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

This past weekend at Church, we talked about REmaining in Christ and I couldn't help but notice a phrase in the above verses. Verse 5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit seems to be a promise to me. If I remain in Christ, and He in me I WILL BEAR FRUIT! I don't know about you, but bearing fruit translates to having children for me. I am not sure exactly what Jesus intended with this set of verses, but I do understand the concept of remaining in Him to grow and produce.

Our pastor was telling us ways we could remain in Him, by reading His word; fellowship and staying connected. I started thinking about myself when he was talking of these things. I thought of my journey to learn patience; and how it seems to be helping me in more ways then one. I've been reading my Bible in a different way looking for things that would aid me in my quest to get patience, and while this has helped me tons it's also opened my eyes to other things that I had been missing.

This wonderful blog site of mine has a wonderful feature that lets me see the "stats" of my blog, and I had noticed that my blog post Almond Blossom  had gotten several reads today and I was curious why. I couldn't remember what I had said that day, so I took the time to read it. It was a beautiful image in my head of almond blossoms and when I went back to read it I was able to relive that moment in my life and see the wonderful things that I'd learned that day. So while I'm still waiting to have a baby; I can see where my journey is taking me and it's a rather surprising direction, or not so surprising. I'm headed for the Lord and I'm loving the journey of getting there!

He listens to me Whine too? Wow!

Psalm 142:1-3

   "1 I cry out to the Lord;
I plead for the Lord’s mercy.

2 I pour out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles.

3 When I am overwhelmed,
you alone know the way I should turn."

This verse may sound like I'm depressed, and at times I am, but really I posted it today as a reminder to myself. The Lord hears me, He hears ME, and I can tell Him all of my troubles! Ok, you ladies out there; you know how telling a friend all your woes can sometimes make them easier to bear? It's kind of the same thing for me here. I can tell my God everything, I can whine, I can complain, I can cry to Him...EVERYTHING and I know that He hears me and listens! And not only that, but when I am overwhelmed; which is a LOT of the time, He ALONE knows the way I should turn!

How awe inspiring is that? He's like my eternal GPS, only He never gets the directions wrong! For those of you who don't me the way my close friends and family do, I am NOT a directions person. I need turn by turn directions and those directions need to say turn RIGHT or turn LEFT, none of this north or south crap...I just don't get that! I know, I know...HOW can I not be good with directions?!? Well I've got two things, make that three things going against me. First, the town I grew up in has roads that follow the river not the NESW model. The other two things are, simply put my mother is the same way (I come by it naturally) and I never paid attention when I was growing up. So here I am, a fully grown women who is in desperate need directions at all times. Well, at least in the spiritual sense, I've got them! My Lord and Savior knows which way I need to turn. And I can count on Him to tell me.

Let me touch just a bit on the middle part of this verse.  I pour out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles. I have been searching (looking for direction) for patience this whole year, and sometimes my path gets pretty rocky. I have had moments, maybe when it seems all of my friends are getting pregnant, or I read books where healings have taken place, and I'm instantly depressed and annoyed that I haven't gotten any of that for myself yet. At those times, I want to rail against God, I want to do all of those things I mentioned above, whine, cry and complain. As I'm doing those things, as I'm pouring out my sorrows I sometimes feel pretty guilty. I need verses like this to show me that King David; whom is described as a Man after God's own heart, did those same exact things! I am not alone, I have Biblical witnesses and I have God to get me through and listen.

Thank you Jesus, for listening and helping me to make it through!