Matthew 6:25-34
"25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?
27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing,29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? 31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.
33 Seek the Kingdom of Godt above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."
I know this is a long section of scripture, but I needed to have the whole section to write my blog today. Today is the first blog entry of 2012 (I'm such a slacker huh?) and part of the reason it's my first is because of exactly what this verse is talking about. Worry, and faith; well lack there of really. I know I've posted about my fears associated with this pregnancy; and let me tell you that the moment I wrote those fears down, I was much better about laying them at God's feet. Here's my problem: once I laid those down, I seemed to develop NEW fears!
Let me explain a thing or two. We already have established that I'm a planner; and that being a parent is about as far as you can get from being able to control a plan! I think I've already established that I'm a "rules" person as well; meaning I don't like to be in trouble. What does all of this have to do with my fears, and lack of faith in believing those fears? Well I'm not sure that they even really connect anywhere but in my mind. As I see it, sometimes my fears are based on "what if I do this wrong and get in trouble?" how silly is that? REAL silly, not only is that unlikely to happen...if it DOES happen, my God is a forgiving God! That point was driven home to me this morning as I was reading about worrying. Verse 30 says "30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?" Right there in black and white, I could see that my worrying was actually a lack of faith. Since I started this blog (just about about a year ago now) I've been exploring what I thought was a study in patience; and while I have learned a lot about that subject, I've discovered that patience is directly related to faith. I'm not sure why it surprised me that worrying is directly linked to a LACK of faith then, but it did!
I recently got to spend some time visiting with my family and when I'd tell my mom about my worrying; and what it was that was worrying me; she'd give me the typical mom answer of "why? that's nothing to worry about!" While it's good to hear that, it wasn't exactly what my heart was looking for at that moment. Sometimes our parents can be harsh; but then so can God. Jesus plainly said that worrying was showing a lack of faith, and that's harsh; but so did my mom only I didn't see it that way. In fact, when we were growing up, I used to hear my mom say "praise the Lord" all the time and I started to notice that I heard it more often if she was struggling with something or frustrated with something. I asked her about it, and she said that she was practicing what she'd learned as a child "in all things, Praise the Lord". Psalm 34:1 says " I will praise the LORD at all times. I will constantly speak his praises." and to my mom that meant even when she was scared or lonely; praise the Lord. To her it meant, when I don't know how this bill is going to be paid, or where this next meal is going to come from; Praise the Lord. My sister and I have adapted this but shorten it to PTL. I'll randomly say PTL and will get the most curious looks from people; which gives me an opportunity to explain it all to them!
In my worrying I'm learning some valuable lessons. The lessons are leading me straight back to my faith. I was going to pick a new word for the year 2012, but the more I look at it, the more I'm thinking I'll stick with my journey to learn patience, after all what would require more patience then having a baby right? And while I'm learning more about patience, I'm planning on learning so much more about my faith and how they are connected. Come along on the journey with me, who knows what gems I might find in the word this year!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Friday, December 16, 2011
We just gotta come to Him!
Proverbs 30:5
"5 Every word of God proves true.
He is a shield to all who come to him for protection."
The words of the writer of this Proverb held me captive this morning. How true! Every word of God DOES prove true, and He IS a shield to all who come to Him for protection! I want to focus on the shield portion of this verse today. I know that I've been struggling with fear lately, and homesickness as well; so I figure that I'm not the only one out there having these feelings. The words I read today gave me a peace, and comfort that He is my shield, He will protect me in all things!
How often do we try to "go it alone"? I know for me, it seems to be a pretty common thing, but we don't have to do that; we don't HAVE to be alone. God will shield us and protect us! All we have to do is come to Him. Then why do I find myself constantly thinking I can do this on my own, and constantly failing at it? I think that, for me anyways, it's just too easy. All I have to do is come to Him and hid in His arms? Really? That's it? I mean, I'm pretty much a mess here God, are You sure You don't need me to clean up somehow? But He doesn't, all He requires is that we come to Him.
This isn't the only time He says this in the Bible either, Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28 "28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." It seems to be a theme here, God WANTS to give us rest if we will just come to Him. It seems so simple to read, but so hard to actually DO. How can we move from reading something to actually doing that same thing? I've been trying to figure that one out for years! I know that the Lord is working in me though, I've read these words many, many times and never stopped to think about them before. I never stopped to act upon them after having read them. I do have to say, that I have done this before...just come to Him, but it always seems to be in times of desperation. I spent a lot of times begging Him to just hold me when we were trying to have a baby; and now that I'm pregnant, I've spent time begging Him to hold both me and the child and protect us both. I wonder just how much my life would change if that was my attitude every single day. If I woke in the morning and said, "good morning Lord, I'm ready to be held some more!". If I took the time to seek His arms when I'm perfectly happy and enjoying life instead of waiting until it's all falling in around me?
I can only imagine what good has in store for us, what wonderful things He has just WAITING for us to come to Him for. But I tend to stand on the outside and look in at the grand party, instead of seeking out His arms to be included in it. I think that my plan of action for the next week, is to actively seek the Lord's protection, shield and arms when I DON'T need them most. I plan to seek Him at all times, not just the rough times. Thank you Jesus, for being that shield and protection I need, and not just when I ask for it either; but all of the time! I love you Jesus!
"5 Every word of God proves true.
He is a shield to all who come to him for protection."
The words of the writer of this Proverb held me captive this morning. How true! Every word of God DOES prove true, and He IS a shield to all who come to Him for protection! I want to focus on the shield portion of this verse today. I know that I've been struggling with fear lately, and homesickness as well; so I figure that I'm not the only one out there having these feelings. The words I read today gave me a peace, and comfort that He is my shield, He will protect me in all things!
How often do we try to "go it alone"? I know for me, it seems to be a pretty common thing, but we don't have to do that; we don't HAVE to be alone. God will shield us and protect us! All we have to do is come to Him. Then why do I find myself constantly thinking I can do this on my own, and constantly failing at it? I think that, for me anyways, it's just too easy. All I have to do is come to Him and hid in His arms? Really? That's it? I mean, I'm pretty much a mess here God, are You sure You don't need me to clean up somehow? But He doesn't, all He requires is that we come to Him.
This isn't the only time He says this in the Bible either, Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28 "28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." It seems to be a theme here, God WANTS to give us rest if we will just come to Him. It seems so simple to read, but so hard to actually DO. How can we move from reading something to actually doing that same thing? I've been trying to figure that one out for years! I know that the Lord is working in me though, I've read these words many, many times and never stopped to think about them before. I never stopped to act upon them after having read them. I do have to say, that I have done this before...just come to Him, but it always seems to be in times of desperation. I spent a lot of times begging Him to just hold me when we were trying to have a baby; and now that I'm pregnant, I've spent time begging Him to hold both me and the child and protect us both. I wonder just how much my life would change if that was my attitude every single day. If I woke in the morning and said, "good morning Lord, I'm ready to be held some more!". If I took the time to seek His arms when I'm perfectly happy and enjoying life instead of waiting until it's all falling in around me?
I can only imagine what good has in store for us, what wonderful things He has just WAITING for us to come to Him for. But I tend to stand on the outside and look in at the grand party, instead of seeking out His arms to be included in it. I think that my plan of action for the next week, is to actively seek the Lord's protection, shield and arms when I DON'T need them most. I plan to seek Him at all times, not just the rough times. Thank you Jesus, for being that shield and protection I need, and not just when I ask for it either; but all of the time! I love you Jesus!
Friday, December 9, 2011
He knows, He sees
Revelation 2:2
"2 “I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance."
Some days are just harder then others. Have you ever noticed that? I have days that I struggle to be happy; let alone to be a "Christian example" to the world. But Revelation is here to tell us, that God knows. He sees everything we are going through, and He sees how we are patiently enduring through the rough times. This verse spoke to me this morning, because of the message of seeing in it. I know that on some of those rough days I feel so very far from God; like He's not even in the same universe as me, let alone walking (or carrying me!) beside me. It is nice to be reminded that He's seeing me struggle, He's seeing me get through.
I think that sometimes, just getting through; or patiently enduring as this verse words it, is a victory in it's self. How often do we hear about those who were not able to make it through? Sadly, pretty often; and I wonder how anyone can survive without the Hope that I hold near. I have had several friends that will willingly admit that they struggle with things like depression on a regular basis. I can tell you for these friends, and the few times I've struggled with depression as well, that making it to the other side of the darkness is one of the most amazing feelings. You have survived again; it's now easier to make it through the day. What might seem like a strange thing to celebrate to a person who's never suffered these things, is a celebration in a persons day who HAS struggled with this. The verse in Revaluation is a comfort to me, to know that He's there, He's seeing and He'll be there when I make it through to the other side as well.
I am sure that a lot of people have noticed there isn't a promise in this verse of hope, but to me; I see a promise. I see the promise of Him. I see the promise that He's there; at all times. The promise, to me, is that He will be there to celebrate with me when WE make it through, He'll be there to wrap His arms around me when I'm in that darkness; and He'll be there to help through the next time too. In short, HE WILL BE THERE FOR ME. God is awesome that way huh?
"2 “I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance."
Some days are just harder then others. Have you ever noticed that? I have days that I struggle to be happy; let alone to be a "Christian example" to the world. But Revelation is here to tell us, that God knows. He sees everything we are going through, and He sees how we are patiently enduring through the rough times. This verse spoke to me this morning, because of the message of seeing in it. I know that on some of those rough days I feel so very far from God; like He's not even in the same universe as me, let alone walking (or carrying me!) beside me. It is nice to be reminded that He's seeing me struggle, He's seeing me get through.
I think that sometimes, just getting through; or patiently enduring as this verse words it, is a victory in it's self. How often do we hear about those who were not able to make it through? Sadly, pretty often; and I wonder how anyone can survive without the Hope that I hold near. I have had several friends that will willingly admit that they struggle with things like depression on a regular basis. I can tell you for these friends, and the few times I've struggled with depression as well, that making it to the other side of the darkness is one of the most amazing feelings. You have survived again; it's now easier to make it through the day. What might seem like a strange thing to celebrate to a person who's never suffered these things, is a celebration in a persons day who HAS struggled with this. The verse in Revaluation is a comfort to me, to know that He's there, He's seeing and He'll be there when I make it through to the other side as well.
I am sure that a lot of people have noticed there isn't a promise in this verse of hope, but to me; I see a promise. I see the promise of Him. I see the promise that He's there; at all times. The promise, to me, is that He will be there to celebrate with me when WE make it through, He'll be there to wrap His arms around me when I'm in that darkness; and He'll be there to help through the next time too. In short, HE WILL BE THERE FOR ME. God is awesome that way huh?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Picture of Faith in action!
Daniel 3:16-18
"16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you.17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.
18 But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”"
This verse is VERY powerful to me! Every time I read it, I'm in awe of the confidence that Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego show here. First of all, they are being told to bow and worship a statue or die in a blazing furnace, and second of all: not only do they tell Nebuchadnezzar that their God is powerful enough to save them, they reiterate that even if God does NOT save them, they will worship no others! Now THAT my friends is a great picture of faith to me! I've talked about the "definition" of faith before how Hebrews 11:1 defines faith this way: "1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." and when I was writing about this faith, I wish I could have remembered this story. When I read that verse from the New Testament defining faith for me, I can see it lived out in the actions of these three men.
I think the "magic" words here that take these verses to the faith level are 18 But even if he doesn’t. I am still just in awe as I am writing this. Can you imagine what our lives, what MY life, would look like if we could live these verses out in our every day lives? I would have no reason to fear for anything, I wouldn't feel like I'd need to "bow" to the peer pressure I see happening all around me. My life could be so much if I would just learn how to live these verses! God has a choice in what He does, but WE have a choice in how we act, or react to life as well. If we can chose to believe that God will save us, and acknowledge that EVEN IF HE CHOOSES not too, we won't bow or worship any other but our God; wow. I'm floored at the possibilities!
Here's to living a life of faith as shown here in Daniel, thanks boys for giving me that example to live by!
"16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you.17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.
18 But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”"
This verse is VERY powerful to me! Every time I read it, I'm in awe of the confidence that Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego show here. First of all, they are being told to bow and worship a statue or die in a blazing furnace, and second of all: not only do they tell Nebuchadnezzar that their God is powerful enough to save them, they reiterate that even if God does NOT save them, they will worship no others! Now THAT my friends is a great picture of faith to me! I've talked about the "definition" of faith before how Hebrews 11:1 defines faith this way: "1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." and when I was writing about this faith, I wish I could have remembered this story. When I read that verse from the New Testament defining faith for me, I can see it lived out in the actions of these three men.
I think the "magic" words here that take these verses to the faith level are 18 But even if he doesn’t. I am still just in awe as I am writing this. Can you imagine what our lives, what MY life, would look like if we could live these verses out in our every day lives? I would have no reason to fear for anything, I wouldn't feel like I'd need to "bow" to the peer pressure I see happening all around me. My life could be so much if I would just learn how to live these verses! God has a choice in what He does, but WE have a choice in how we act, or react to life as well. If we can chose to believe that God will save us, and acknowledge that EVEN IF HE CHOOSES not too, we won't bow or worship any other but our God; wow. I'm floored at the possibilities!
Here's to living a life of faith as shown here in Daniel, thanks boys for giving me that example to live by!
Monday, November 21, 2011
It's simple right? Well, maybe not SIMPLE! :-)
James 4:8a
"8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you."
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. That's it, it's that simple! James has a wonderful way of being blatantly honest with his audience and telling them exactly how it is. I think we sometimes make things too difficult on ourselves. We will continually tell ourselves that we'll "get right with God" when we are better people, or we will ask so and so to forgive us when we are able to forgive ourselves. James points out to us that our way of thinking is not God's way of thinking.
God doesn't care what sins we've committed, how deep in the mire we are right now; God only cares that we love Him. John 3:16, "16 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.", states it pretty plan to me as well. If we believe in Christ, we will NOT perish, but will live forever with Him! All that is required of us is to believe, and come close to Him. How simple is that?
Simple, huh...that's funny. When has it every been simple to do that? Believe that is? As a human, I think we all have a tendency to need proof and "hard evidence" of something before we are able to fully believe in it. Faith is different. Hebrews 11:1 defines faith this way: "1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." That is nearly the opposite of hard evidence and proof. Nothing about Faith is grounded in our human efforts to prove things. I have discovered that the process of getting to that belief isn't easy, but once I made up my mind to believe I have followed that Faith path with all my heart.
At this point in my journey I'm learning to grow closer to God. I'm learning what all is involved in growing closer to Him. In a human relationship, it takes work to grow close to someone, right? It takes time, conversations and interaction with that person; and because we are human our relationship with God takes no less. Prayer, reading the Bible and just good old time are required to grow closer to God. I've found that in searching for answers in God's Word, I'm growing closer to Him as well. It's not something that has happened over night, it's been a gradual trek. In fact I was talking to my wonderful husband recently about how much closer I've grown to God in the last 10 years. 10 years, that is NOT an over night kind of transformation, but it's been a pretty big transformation none the less. I've been taking baby steps to get to this point in my life, one step closer to God and He's come more steps in my direction. It's been wonderful getting to this point in my journey and I can honestly say; I can't wait to grow closer to Him more every day!
"8 Come close to God, and God will come close to you."
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. That's it, it's that simple! James has a wonderful way of being blatantly honest with his audience and telling them exactly how it is. I think we sometimes make things too difficult on ourselves. We will continually tell ourselves that we'll "get right with God" when we are better people, or we will ask so and so to forgive us when we are able to forgive ourselves. James points out to us that our way of thinking is not God's way of thinking.
God doesn't care what sins we've committed, how deep in the mire we are right now; God only cares that we love Him. John 3:16, "16 “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.", states it pretty plan to me as well. If we believe in Christ, we will NOT perish, but will live forever with Him! All that is required of us is to believe, and come close to Him. How simple is that?
Simple, huh...that's funny. When has it every been simple to do that? Believe that is? As a human, I think we all have a tendency to need proof and "hard evidence" of something before we are able to fully believe in it. Faith is different. Hebrews 11:1 defines faith this way: "1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." That is nearly the opposite of hard evidence and proof. Nothing about Faith is grounded in our human efforts to prove things. I have discovered that the process of getting to that belief isn't easy, but once I made up my mind to believe I have followed that Faith path with all my heart.
At this point in my journey I'm learning to grow closer to God. I'm learning what all is involved in growing closer to Him. In a human relationship, it takes work to grow close to someone, right? It takes time, conversations and interaction with that person; and because we are human our relationship with God takes no less. Prayer, reading the Bible and just good old time are required to grow closer to God. I've found that in searching for answers in God's Word, I'm growing closer to Him as well. It's not something that has happened over night, it's been a gradual trek. In fact I was talking to my wonderful husband recently about how much closer I've grown to God in the last 10 years. 10 years, that is NOT an over night kind of transformation, but it's been a pretty big transformation none the less. I've been taking baby steps to get to this point in my life, one step closer to God and He's come more steps in my direction. It's been wonderful getting to this point in my journey and I can honestly say; I can't wait to grow closer to Him more every day!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Don't forget the next step!
"22 But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.23 For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.24 You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like."
As I was reading my devotions this morning, these words caught my eye and my mind. How true is that? I mean, how often do I just sort of skim over God's Words to me and not really take that next step in the process? As I sat there thinking about that, I had to admit that the answer was probably a lot more often then it should be. All year long, I've been working towards my goal of learning patience, and I've come a long way in that process; but am I as far along as I should be? Could I have gained more knowledge if I had just obeyed more of what I had read?
I've been watching the stats on my blog rise lately, even though I haven't been able to write much in it. When I was thinking about writing this particular blog today, I wondered how many other people were reading the words I've written over the past 9 months and were doing more then just READ the words? I don't mean to say that people aren't getting anything, or "obeying" my blog, what I mean is: am I gaining anything from it, or am I just writing the words that I feel that day and then moving on to something else and not obeying what I'd just listened to? I'm not sure of the answer to that, but I know it's something to think about as I'm going along and living my life.
I don't want to be fooling myself, especially when it comes to writing this blog; I want to be a genuine voice, a voice that speaks only for itself, but still is able to offer something to those who might be reading it as well. If I am just writing things then forgetting totally about the lessons I have "learned" I don't think I'm meeting my goal with this blog. One of the main reasons that I started the blog was so I could go back and read my entries at any time. I've found that when it comes to the "journal" aspect I will write for about five days, put the journal away and never come back to it. This blog has not only provided me a way to keep track of everything I've learned, but to get wonderful advice and feedback from people who are reading it; people who are going through the same things I am, or have survived them already.
My stats show several entries that are more popular then other entries in my blog world, every time I see one of these entries "jump" in popularity, I feel as if God is telling me to go back, read again what I wrote and see what I've learned from that particular lesson, and these verses seem to be confirming that as well. So from now on, ESPECIALLY when I'm feeling scared, or alone, or down; I think I'm going to take God's hints and advice and re-read the wonderful lessons He is trying to teach me on a daily basis. Thank you friends for listening to my lessons and even teaching me some of the ones you have already learned yourselves!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
A Light at the End of the Raod
1 Peter 5:7
"7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
Fear, according to dictionary.com; fear is a feeling of concern or anxiety; solicitude. Ever since the Lord blessed me with what I wanted so badly, I've been experiencing this emotion. Have you ever heard that old adage that says "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!"? I seem to have found myself in that boat. Up until this time in my life, I have been dreaming of holding a baby, of being a "complete" family. Now that my baby is coming; all I can think of are all my fears! I fear if we'll be able to afford this, I fear coming back to work after the baby is born, I fear that I'll somehow mess this kid up beyond repair and I fear so many other things, that it seems to have consumed my every moment.
I've tried giving up my fears to God, repeatedly, but I always seem to turn around and keep worrying about them some more. At a time in my life, when I should be praising God and thanking Him for His awesome goodness, I find myself fighting Him and trying to keep a hold of that fear. It's as if it's my security blanket, which makes no sense to me; because it's keeping me up at night, not helping me sleep!
I saw this verse this morning in my devotions and I thought; that's it! THAT is what God's been trying to tell me; to give my worries to Him, because He cares for me. Now all I have to do is get it through my thick skull! That used to be an easy concept for me, but at this time in my life, when my decisions suddenly effect a tiny life growing in me; I'm finding it harder then ever to lay those burdens at His feet. Then I ran across this second verse while I was looking up the first one, and another light bulb went off.
1 Peter 5:8 "8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."
Huh, who knew? Could it be, could the devil is trying to derail me here? When I saw this verse this afternoon, I was stunned, not only did it make total sense to me, but it also gave me a plan of attack! My brain works in the way that if I can figure out WHY I'm doing something, then I can figure out how to stop that something. My plan of attack here, is to stop the devil at his game, if I can pray in a way that will help eliminate the problem's source then I can pray in a such a way that will help me finally give it all over to God. As I was typing the first part of this blog, I was feeling all dark and depressed because I have "failed" at getting rid of the fear, or at least dealing with it. But as I've been writing this second half, it's as if a light has gone on. I feel lighter somehow, less burdened.
Peter wasn't kidding when he called the devil the GREAT enemy. He really knows how to push my buttons, he knew right where to go and attack my relationship with Christ. The devil saw me growing and learning though out this year; and when he saw an opportunity to strike he did...hard. I have been struggling with this for three months now, which means the devil did a really good job of hitting that sore spot, and I have been trying and trying to get rid of it. All to no avail, until now. NOW I'm starting to see where this fear is originating from, and can therefore deal with that part first...instead of trying to deal with only the symptoms of the problem.
Let me say, this in no way means that I'm suddenly fear free, because I'm not. What it does mean is that I now have more to talk with God about and that I can kick the devil right out of that conversation. I can pray that I be protected from the devil's antics and be able to heal from the damage he's inflected on my life. I am sure that I will still struggle with this, but now I can fight the DEVIL instead of fighting with GOD! I like the sound of that a LOT more then what I was doing before!
"7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."
Fear, according to dictionary.com; fear is a feeling of concern or anxiety; solicitude. Ever since the Lord blessed me with what I wanted so badly, I've been experiencing this emotion. Have you ever heard that old adage that says "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!"? I seem to have found myself in that boat. Up until this time in my life, I have been dreaming of holding a baby, of being a "complete" family. Now that my baby is coming; all I can think of are all my fears! I fear if we'll be able to afford this, I fear coming back to work after the baby is born, I fear that I'll somehow mess this kid up beyond repair and I fear so many other things, that it seems to have consumed my every moment.
I've tried giving up my fears to God, repeatedly, but I always seem to turn around and keep worrying about them some more. At a time in my life, when I should be praising God and thanking Him for His awesome goodness, I find myself fighting Him and trying to keep a hold of that fear. It's as if it's my security blanket, which makes no sense to me; because it's keeping me up at night, not helping me sleep!
I saw this verse this morning in my devotions and I thought; that's it! THAT is what God's been trying to tell me; to give my worries to Him, because He cares for me. Now all I have to do is get it through my thick skull! That used to be an easy concept for me, but at this time in my life, when my decisions suddenly effect a tiny life growing in me; I'm finding it harder then ever to lay those burdens at His feet. Then I ran across this second verse while I was looking up the first one, and another light bulb went off.
1 Peter 5:8 "8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."
Huh, who knew? Could it be, could the devil is trying to derail me here? When I saw this verse this afternoon, I was stunned, not only did it make total sense to me, but it also gave me a plan of attack! My brain works in the way that if I can figure out WHY I'm doing something, then I can figure out how to stop that something. My plan of attack here, is to stop the devil at his game, if I can pray in a way that will help eliminate the problem's source then I can pray in a such a way that will help me finally give it all over to God. As I was typing the first part of this blog, I was feeling all dark and depressed because I have "failed" at getting rid of the fear, or at least dealing with it. But as I've been writing this second half, it's as if a light has gone on. I feel lighter somehow, less burdened.
Peter wasn't kidding when he called the devil the GREAT enemy. He really knows how to push my buttons, he knew right where to go and attack my relationship with Christ. The devil saw me growing and learning though out this year; and when he saw an opportunity to strike he did...hard. I have been struggling with this for three months now, which means the devil did a really good job of hitting that sore spot, and I have been trying and trying to get rid of it. All to no avail, until now. NOW I'm starting to see where this fear is originating from, and can therefore deal with that part first...instead of trying to deal with only the symptoms of the problem.
Let me say, this in no way means that I'm suddenly fear free, because I'm not. What it does mean is that I now have more to talk with God about and that I can kick the devil right out of that conversation. I can pray that I be protected from the devil's antics and be able to heal from the damage he's inflected on my life. I am sure that I will still struggle with this, but now I can fight the DEVIL instead of fighting with GOD! I like the sound of that a LOT more then what I was doing before!
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