A Light at the End of the Raod

1 Peter 5:7
    "7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you."

Fear, according to dictionary.com; fear is a feeling of concern or anxiety; solicitude. Ever since the Lord blessed me with what I wanted so badly, I've been experiencing this emotion. Have you ever heard that old adage that says "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!"? I seem to have found myself in that boat. Up until this time in my life, I have been dreaming of holding a baby, of being a "complete" family. Now that my baby is coming; all I can think of are all my fears! I fear if we'll be able to afford this, I fear coming back to work after the baby is born, I fear that I'll somehow mess this kid up beyond repair and I fear so many other things, that it seems to have consumed my every moment.

I've tried giving up my fears to God, repeatedly, but I always seem to turn around and keep worrying about them some more. At a time in my life, when I should be praising God and thanking Him for His awesome goodness, I find myself fighting Him and trying to keep a hold of that fear. It's as if it's my security blanket, which makes no sense to me; because it's keeping me up at night, not helping me sleep!

I saw this verse this morning in my devotions and I thought; that's it! THAT is what God's been trying to tell me; to give my worries to Him, because He cares for me. Now all I have to do is get it through my thick skull! That used to be an easy concept for me, but at this time in my life, when my decisions suddenly effect a tiny life growing in me; I'm finding it harder then ever to lay those burdens at His feet. Then I ran across this second verse while I was looking up the first one, and another light bulb went off.

1 Peter 5:8    "8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."

Huh, who knew? Could it be, could the devil is trying to derail me here? When I saw this verse this afternoon, I was stunned, not only did it make total sense to me, but it also gave me a plan of attack! My brain works in the way that if I can figure out WHY I'm doing something, then I can figure out how to stop that something. My plan of attack here, is to stop the devil at his game, if I can pray in a way that will help eliminate the problem's source then I can pray in a such a way that will help me finally give it all over to God. As I was typing the first part of this blog, I was feeling all dark and depressed because I have "failed" at getting rid of the fear, or at least dealing with it. But as I've been writing this second half, it's as if a light has gone on. I feel lighter somehow, less burdened.

Peter wasn't kidding when he called the devil the GREAT enemy. He really knows how to push my buttons, he knew right where to go and attack my relationship with Christ. The devil saw me growing and learning though out this year; and when he saw an opportunity to strike he did...hard. I have been struggling with this for three months now, which means the devil did a really good job of hitting that sore spot, and I have been trying and trying to get rid of it. All to no avail, until now. NOW I'm starting to see where this fear is originating from, and can therefore deal with that part first...instead of trying to deal with only the symptoms of the problem.

Let me say, this in no way means that I'm suddenly fear free, because I'm not. What it does mean is that I now have more to talk with God about and that I can kick the devil right out of that conversation. I can pray that I be protected from the devil's antics and be able to heal from the damage he's inflected on my life. I am sure that I will still struggle with this, but now I can fight the DEVIL instead of fighting with GOD! I like the sound of that a LOT more then what I was doing before!