My Prayer for the Bean

Proverbs 23: 15-16

     "15 My child, if your heart is wise,
my own heart will rejoice!

16 Everything in me will celebrate
when you speak what is right."

This is an "official" announcement that at least part of my patience journey has come to an end. As of last Friday, October 14, 2011; I am 12 weeks pregnant! I've been wanting to blog about this for a very long time, but having had so many issues getting TO this point, I was overly worried about complications; which only proves that a good portion of that patience journey is NOT over! :-)

Several weeks ago, while I was reading through my daily devotions, I ran across this verse in Proverbs. What a beautiful prayer that is for my unborn child. The first time I read it, I was nearly brought to tears, because it truly is my prayer and wish for my baby; that my child have a wise heart and speak what's right.

The Message Paraphrase of this verse is beautiful "15 Dear child, if you become wise, I'll be one happy parent.16 My heart will dance and sing to the tuneful truth you'll speak." I ADORE this version of this verse, partly because it's so true and partly because I love the image of my heart dancing and singing! As I look at this, it becomes apparent that not only is this my prayer for my Bean (that's what my sister lovingly nick named my baby!) but it is also God's prayer for ME. My Bean isn't the only one who needs to become wise, I still have a long way to go in that journey as well.

If being pregnant has done anything for me, it's made me realize that I need God more then ever now. I've been struggling with fear since the day I found about the baby, I've had so much fear that I haven't really let myself enjoy the pregnancy part of this journey. My wonderful husband and I have been married for 10 years, and they have been AWESOME years, but with a baby on the way; our whole lives are about to change. The number one key to our relationship (in both of our humble opinions!) is communication. The last 10 years have been one big talk about every little thing. One of the fears, is that we will some how lose that communication and along with it, some of our closeness. How do we go from being a "couple" to a "family"? How can we afford for me to work? How can we afford for me NOT to work? The fear has, at times, been crippling.

I often find myself praying desperately that God would take away my fears and bring me to a place of peace, which He does, then I end up picking that fear right back up and trying to walk around with it again...I don't appear to be the quickest learner out there! As I've been using this prayer for a Bean prayer, I'm starting to see how God is saying the same thing to me, nearly begging me to invest some time in becoming wise. I need it too! Being a parent isn't going to be easy, and I WILL mess it up, but I know that by the grace of God and the wisdom He grants me that I can do this! I can leave this baby in His hands and know that all will be well.