What a Journey!!

John 15:4-8
    "4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.8 This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

This past weekend at Church, we talked about REmaining in Christ and I couldn't help but notice a phrase in the above verses. Verse 5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit seems to be a promise to me. If I remain in Christ, and He in me I WILL BEAR FRUIT! I don't know about you, but bearing fruit translates to having children for me. I am not sure exactly what Jesus intended with this set of verses, but I do understand the concept of remaining in Him to grow and produce.

Our pastor was telling us ways we could remain in Him, by reading His word; fellowship and staying connected. I started thinking about myself when he was talking of these things. I thought of my journey to learn patience; and how it seems to be helping me in more ways then one. I've been reading my Bible in a different way looking for things that would aid me in my quest to get patience, and while this has helped me tons it's also opened my eyes to other things that I had been missing.

This wonderful blog site of mine has a wonderful feature that lets me see the "stats" of my blog, and I had noticed that my blog post Almond Blossom  had gotten several reads today and I was curious why. I couldn't remember what I had said that day, so I took the time to read it. It was a beautiful image in my head of almond blossoms and when I went back to read it I was able to relive that moment in my life and see the wonderful things that I'd learned that day. So while I'm still waiting to have a baby; I can see where my journey is taking me and it's a rather surprising direction, or not so surprising. I'm headed for the Lord and I'm loving the journey of getting there!

He listens to me Whine too? Wow!

Psalm 142:1-3

   "1 I cry out to the Lord;
I plead for the Lord’s mercy.

2 I pour out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles.

3 When I am overwhelmed,
you alone know the way I should turn."

This verse may sound like I'm depressed, and at times I am, but really I posted it today as a reminder to myself. The Lord hears me, He hears ME, and I can tell Him all of my troubles! Ok, you ladies out there; you know how telling a friend all your woes can sometimes make them easier to bear? It's kind of the same thing for me here. I can tell my God everything, I can whine, I can complain, I can cry to Him...EVERYTHING and I know that He hears me and listens! And not only that, but when I am overwhelmed; which is a LOT of the time, He ALONE knows the way I should turn!

How awe inspiring is that? He's like my eternal GPS, only He never gets the directions wrong! For those of you who don't me the way my close friends and family do, I am NOT a directions person. I need turn by turn directions and those directions need to say turn RIGHT or turn LEFT, none of this north or south crap...I just don't get that! I know, I know...HOW can I not be good with directions?!? Well I've got two things, make that three things going against me. First, the town I grew up in has roads that follow the river not the NESW model. The other two things are, simply put my mother is the same way (I come by it naturally) and I never paid attention when I was growing up. So here I am, a fully grown women who is in desperate need directions at all times. Well, at least in the spiritual sense, I've got them! My Lord and Savior knows which way I need to turn. And I can count on Him to tell me.

Let me touch just a bit on the middle part of this verse.  I pour out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles. I have been searching (looking for direction) for patience this whole year, and sometimes my path gets pretty rocky. I have had moments, maybe when it seems all of my friends are getting pregnant, or I read books where healings have taken place, and I'm instantly depressed and annoyed that I haven't gotten any of that for myself yet. At those times, I want to rail against God, I want to do all of those things I mentioned above, whine, cry and complain. As I'm doing those things, as I'm pouring out my sorrows I sometimes feel pretty guilty. I need verses like this to show me that King David; whom is described as a Man after God's own heart, did those same exact things! I am not alone, I have Biblical witnesses and I have God to get me through and listen.

Thank you Jesus, for listening and helping me to make it through!

He comes through a whisper!

1 Kings 19:11-14
     "11 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.
13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

The all mighty, all powerful God came to Elijah in a gentle whisper! The God who created Earth, and just a few verses before these, brought down fire from Heaven to burn up a drenching wet sacrifice; chose to show Himself to Elijah in the most gentle of ways. He wasn't in the wind, He wasn't in the Earthquake and He wasn't in the fire, no MY God; He comes through a whisper.

It's no wonder I have a hard time hearing Him sometimes. I keep looking for Him in the "powerful" things like fire, wind and Earthquakes; and forget to sit still and listen for the whisper. I almost want to end my blog right there today, because it's hard to make that point any more clear then it already is. But I feel like I need to say more, to try and get my own head to wrap around this whisper, and how to be quite enough to hear it! I've come back to finish my blog and it is several days later; as I'm reading over it I can tell that is all I need to say. I need to keep looking for God in the gentle things, and realize that His ways are not my own! Thanks God for the awesome reminder!

That's What Faith Can Do

I've written about this song before, but I had a random thought concerning it while on my way home this afternoon. The song is What Faith Can Do by Kutless.

The chorus has the words that struck me, so I'm going to post the words here and tell you my thoughts.

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Whenever this song comes on, I pretty much go into belting out the song mode. If you've ever met me I'm sure you've noticed that if I know the words to a song, and sometimes even if I don't, I'm singing along. Now if that song that I'm singing too is a moving ballad or a song that I "jam" too; then I move into what I cal belt out mode. Simply put that is where I sing at the top of my lungs; not caring who is watching or listening. It just so happens that I CAN sing; so I don't normally make ear drums bleed or anything. I was in this mode singing this song when I felt that tug to actually listen to what I'm singing. So I did.

The words Broken hearts become brand new; that's what faith can do hit me square in the face today. Here I've been on this journey to learn about patience and faith this year, and having a hard time waiting on God's will; and all along I've been looking at it wrong. I guess what I mean is that God asked me a question while I was listening to those words. His question went something like this; if I can make a broken heart brand new; and you don't doubt that; then why don't you have faith that I can heal you, and open your womb? It is a very valid question, I DO believe whole heartedly that He can change a person if they just ask Him too. I do believe that all I had to do was ask Him to forgive my sins; and tell Him he had my whole heart and it was a done deal. How much more faith can I have? Let me state it this way, when it comes to a healing it is ALL God, I can't do anything more to make my body reproduce or take away the pain I can get into; so God can just do His miracles and it's done. When it comes to accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior there is a lot more human involvement in that one. I have to make that choice to accept Him, I have to actively seek Him and I have to want those changes in my life. As a human I am NOT divine and as a non-divine human I mess up a lot and I "change my mind" a lot. If I can trust that I was changed and that an UNSEEN God is now a part of my life without batting an eye; why is it so hard for me to trust that He can heal me? 

I don't have an answer for that right now, but I do know that it is going to take some soul searching to figure out where my lake of faith is coming from. I don't know if it is a deeply hidden thought that I'm not worthy of His healing, or if it's something more complex; like I'm hiding behind the lake of healing or something. What I do know is He loves me, and He sent His Son to die on a cross so that I could have these mixed up feelings. I also know that I can find hidden gems in the songs that I listen to; so the next time you are rocking out to a song (be it Country, Christian or Rock) take a moment and listen to the words and see if you don't hear something that might just make you pause and grow in your faith walk. 

I'm still learning folks, and I have a LONG way to go!

Acts 9: 33-34
    "33 There he met a man named Aeneas, who had been paralyzed and bedridden for eight years. 34 Peter said to him, “Aeneas, Jesus Christ heals you! Get up, and roll up your sleeping mat!” And he was healed instantly."

What power, what CONFIDENCE Peter showed here. I firmly believe that we all have this power; to heal and to do miracles in Jesus' name; but I feel few of us posses the faith to do it. That is what my blogging has been about this year, faith and patience. What I haven't figured out is how to achieve that faith, the undeniable belief that I really can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

Peter had the distinct advantage of walking the Earth with the Saviour and learning from Him; but it took the death of Jesus and Resurrection of Him to set Peter to his true potential. I have an advantage over Peter as well, what is my advantage? I knew, from the beginning, about Jesus' death and wonderful Resurrection! How is it that Peter has this awesome faith and I'm stuck writing a blog about patience and faith instead? I think part of that answer isn't so good; I think it may have something to do with how easy my relationship with God is. I'm not threaten by death on a daily basis just because I believe He died for my sins and rose again on the third day. I'm not hunted because I write about my faith (or lack there of) when I "get the chance". I can freely walk the globe with any "religious" symbol or shirt or sign that I want and no one can do anything about it. That seems pretty easy to me. Maybe if this freedom had been taken away from me at some point, or if I had escaped death that was to be my fate; purely because of my faith; then I'd understand where Peter got his faith and conviction.

I think it's safe to say that Peter's time with the Lord may have given him an edge; but I KNOW, in my heart of hearts, that this "edge" is mine for the taking as well. I just need to find the courage to reach out and grab it. Why is that so scary? Why do I feel as if, in doing that, I am falling through space? I guess that is a sign that I still need to work on my faith huh? Maybe it means that I don't yet have even a mustard's seed amount of faith.

I've been pretty busy at work, and I've found myself somewhat skimming through my daily Bible readings; mostly hoping something will pop out at me that I can use in a blog. I'm pretty sure that isn't how God intended my study time to go. I was even doing this today, struggling with my sense of justice and how I sometimes don't understand God's way...even when I can see the whole story; when I ran across this verse. It sort of hit me in the "faith gut" if you will. It screamed to me, HEY PETER WAS JUST A PERSON TOO; if He can heal in the name of Jesus; WHY CAN'T YOU? Instantly I was transported right back to January 1st, when I discovered just how much of this whole faith thing I don't understand. I really want to be healed of several things, but you know what else I want; and want even more? I want to have faith in my Lord and Savior; the One who gave up His life so that I could live.

I am beginning to see how God is using this journey in my life, not only teaching me patience to wait on His will; but teaching me that I still have a lot to learn. I am reminded every day, just how much I have to learn. I see 100's of examples in my Bible where I'm not the only one who had to learn this lesson, or didn't learn it well enough even. David, a man after God's own heart, gave into sin. His son, Solomon let his many foreign wives lead him into worshiping other gods. So I have faith that I'm not alone on this journey that I'm taking. I see examples of the past and hear comments that let me know that in the present I'm not alone either. I pray we all can continue to walk on, and learn from mistakes we see in the Bible and even those that we make on our own.

Challenge in Patience

1 Thessalonians 5:17
   "17 Never stop praying."

I was listening to the radio this past week and I head something that made me stop to think. I heard one of those "2 minute devotional" type things on Air 1, and the speaker challenged the listener to pray for 5 unbeleivers for six months and see how thier lives changed. I, of course, started thinking about who I'd pray for if I met that challenge, but then I actually started thinking about the challenge its self, and how this particular challenge seemed to fit into my desire to learn patience.

Philippians 1:4
    "4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy,"

In a world known for instant gratification, paitence seems to be a way of the past; and what better way to activly start learning about it then to pray for six months for one group of people! So I took up the gauntlet then and there; chose my five and started on my prayer journey to see not only what will change in their lives but also to see what I learn as well.

1 Thesalonians 1:2
    "2 We always thank God for all of you and pray for you constantly."

My five are a coworker, a friends spouse, two of my husbands work assosiates and a loved one of my own. I've proupsly left them vauge because I don't want anyone who might read this to feel pointed out, or called out or anything like that. So far in my challenge, I focused on the first person and tend to miss the last, so I'm redoubling my efforts to make sure all get a "fair shake" if you will.

Psalm 27:7
    "7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me!"

I wanted to blog about this today because I fell like I'm going to need accountability on this. I really want to see what awesome things that God has planned for these five people he's laid on my heart. So I'm asking you, my dedicated few, to help me out I plan to place a reminder in my phone to have me write a blog about updates every month. Even if those updates consist of me explaining what I'm learning about patience from this exercise!

My Next Step.

Proverbs 16:9

    "9 We can make our plans,
but the Lord determines our steps."

Powerful words found here in Proverbs! As I was reading today, I ran across these words and they gave me pause. Could this be a MAJOR step towards patience for me? I think that I have stated before that I'm a major planner, so does this mean that my plans are never going to come true?

I don't think the author of Proverbs was trying to tell me that no matter what; God's plans aren't my plans, but I do think he was trying to remind us all that God is the one who determines our steps, He is the one who has our ultimate good in mind. What looks good to me today may not be what God has planned for me tomorrow. I think that, for me at least, I need to remember this when I'm thinking about my journey towards patience.

I have to start looking at it this way: achieving my wants, dreams and desires are what I've been trying to learn patience for right? Well now I need to think about if those same wants, dreams and desires are what God wants for me. I've always tired to do this, but I think that reading this verse helps me to see that God really is guiding me, and He really wants me to succeed in the best way possible. As a planner, I am that person who would like to know what I'm doing way in advance so that I can put a plan of attack into place. For example several of my friends and my family are planning to take a cruise at the end of April; so now I have a plan to have my down payment by such a date, my full payment by such a date and my spending money at such a date. Now I can plan all of this out, and what activities I want to do while on vacation, but even if I plan everything down to the last minute and have an "air tight" plan; it is God who really make all of our plans. 

Sometimes verses like this can become mighty depressing. If God plans everything out for us, what is our point or purpose? I am not so sure I have a great answer for that, but I do know that  God has never let me down personally. When I feel like my world is caving in on me, I hold tight to His word and then when I'm through the storm; I can look back and see exactly what it was that I learned from a situation. I can chose to become depressed by this verse or I can chose to take it to heart and continue my journey towards patience and knowledge. I chose my journey; what do you chose?