Fear: be GONE!

Luke 11:9-10


    "9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."


It's been a very long time since I've posted to my blog, but I've been busy; with my baby girl! On April 4th, we welcomed our first child, Jantz Elaine into the world. Everything went just as planed until they told me her size! She was tiny! I was expecting an eight pounder and got myself a tiny 6 pound 3 ounce baby! No matter her size, she was perfect in every way, and she was ours!

When I got home from the hospital, I had some catching up to do in my daily readings. As most parents know, a brand new baby sleeps...a lot, so I had that time I needed to catch up. Boy was I in for a surprise! When I was reading the April 4th entry, I noticed I'd underlined a verse and dated it for 2011 (which normally means I've probably blogged about that verse at that time), and when I read this verse, I was floored! Luke 11:9-10, 9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened, 

God had answered this prayer for me and my husband, and He'd done it EXACTLY one year later! God in His wisdom had been preparing us for our baby for a long time, but when I was desperate and clinging to His word, He sent me a promise that I didn't even see! 

When I started this blog back in early 2011, I was struggling with patience, patience to wait on God's timing for us to have/start a family. I blogged about this lack of faith that I had seemed to develop when it came to waiting. While I was blogging, I was learning; learning that God does indeed work in mysterious ways. After all, I was seeing things in my prayer life, in my devotional life and my personal life grow and blossom all because I was admitting on a regular basis that I wasn't "perfect" or even close to it. I had never expected to learn those things in my blogging journey; but here I was learning!

At the beginning of this year, I changed my focus a little bit to my debilitating fear about my pregnancy and getting to the end of it. I was SURE that the second she was born, my fear would just vanish. BOY, was I wrong! It multiplied 10 fold! I would have moments when I was supposed to be sleeping that I was crying out to God in my heart, begging Him to protect her, because my heart was stopping at the thought of things like SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and how I couldn't do anything about it. I guess God isn't done with me just yet huh? He's teaching me to trust Him and place my most precious thing, my daughter, into His arms. I admit, 8 weeks later, I'm STILL trying to trust in this notion. I still have those heart stopping moments when I can't be sure if she's breathing or what will happen in the future. But God is working on me, showing me how to let go of that fear. 

Jeremiah 42:11 says "Your fears are for nothing. I'm on your side, ready to save and deliver you from anything he might do." My fears are for nothing, I do not HAVE to fear because I know that God is on my side, ready to save and deliver me! How comforting that thought can be, if I can just keep it in the fore thoughts going through my head. It's a constant battle against the fear that I've let creep into my life. I will have to keep reminding myself what God said through Jeremiah here.

I have a new fear coming up as well. I have to go back to work on Monday. I have to take my precious baby and leave her with strangers EVERY DAY so that I can earn enough money to help with our monthly incomes, and keep us in insurance. I'm not sure how I'll be on Monday, but I can tell you this; joy will probably NOT be at the top of my list of feelings, and I'm sure fear will be. I have no idea what my actual reactions will be, but I know that with God on my side I will have nothing to fear. Now if I can just get my heart to understand what my head is reading!

Thanks for listening to my rant on fears, and as my gift to you (and my love of my child!) I give you several pictures of our newest member!

my favorite picture of her

on a quilt my Grandma made for me

our rings on her fingers

Daddy with his treasure

 her sleeping on a bunny made for me by a great aunt and my other Grandmother.

cute baby shoes!

she loves BBQ, or she WILL someday! ;-)

the professional pictures were taken by http://www.tweedledeephotographee.com/

Listen, learn, repeat. Listen, learn, repeat!

Psalm 56: 3-4
     "3 But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.4 I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?"

Psalm 56: 9-11
     "9 My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!10 I praise God for what he has promised; yes, I praise the LORD for what he has promised.11 I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?"

Trust, faith, and praise; with these key ingredients it seems mere mortals can do nothing to me! I was caught when reading these verses today in Psalm, David is admitting that he gets afraid; but when he does, he puts his trust in God. He immediately praises God for what He's promised to him and proclaims his trust in the Most High. David concludes that he has no reason to fear after all of that!

What a beautiful thought process. David takes himself from despair and fear all the way to to trust in just a few seconds! I need to learn a lesson or two from King David! I've been talking a lot about fear, mostly because fear has taken on a new meaning with this pregnancy (23 days for those counting...mostly me and my family!) and the ensuing child that will result from said pregnancy. I'm no longer just responsible for my own life, I now have a baby to be thinking about; and that scares me! It has caused me to search the scriptures to look for verses to help me handle this fear and hand it over to God where it belongs. It IS working too, it's just that I want to keep that process handy and keep learning that lesson. When I saw these verses I realized that I am not the only one to fear things, nor am I the only one to turn to God to help with that fear. King David, a man after God's own heart, feared as well. David had a weapon though, I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?" The confidence that sentence pours out in God is amazing to me. It says, HEY, my God is awesome, and I have nothing to fear because of it!

I kept reading, knowing I was going to write this blog; when just a few verses later, David REPEATS what he'd said! Have you ever noticed when you are in an important lecture or class, or when listening to a sermon; the speaker will repeat the points they want you to be sure and catch. They stress the important parts of whatever we are listening too by telling us more then once. Well, David has done that very thing in this chapter of Psalm! It worked too! It caught my attention that he believed the statement enough that he said it twice. I'm not sure, but I'm guessing that a man having been perused by other people wouldn't waste time saying something twice if it wasn't something he fully believed in and wanted the reader to believe in as well. If David believed in such a statement enough to repeat it, it stands that the reader (reader being ME) should look into that statement as well.

I never noticed how many times the Bible mentions fear and how we are good to go if we will just trust in God before, but seeing it repeated so many times now in my readings this last several months lets me know that God does want us to trust in Him and not fear the world, because HE is in charge and He's also on our side! Thank you God for showing me, repeatedly, that you are on my side and I have nothing to fear with You there!

BRING IT!

Psalm 46: 1-3
     "1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.3 Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!"

This week has been a stressful week for me, I've reported often through this pregnancy that I am having troubles with fear; with trusting God and my faith. I saw this set of verses today and I decided that I was going to make them a mantra of sorts for myself. I have just over a month left and then the rest of our lives with our baby; the LAST thing I need is to let my fears get in the way! Verse one says it all folks: "1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble" He is always ready to help in times of trouble, or worry, or whatever it is that we need help with at that time. This verse says, to me, that we can go to him and he will protect us because He is our strength. He is the foundation in our lives that keeps us strong and anchored.

The second part of these verses, "2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.3 Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!" is the mantra part for me. The part that says, BRING IT ON DEVIL, I've got my Lord and Savior on MY side! What more do I need? This mantra of mine is even more timely right now because my state has been experiencing earthquakes a lot lately and we aren't known for them, or for feeling them for that matter! So for the Bible to say we will NOT fear when the earthquakes come, helps me remember even more that my God is in control and He has got this!

I think the point of a mantra in my own life is that I repeat it; a lot! I repeat it enough times that I believe it with all my heart and soul, I repeat it enough times that when I DO fear; it will be the first thing to pop into my mind. I think it's something I'd like to teach my daughter so that she has a verse that pops into her mind when she fears something as well. My mom did this for me when I was a kid; she taught us to sing praise songs when we were scared and to this day; if I'm overly frightened one of those songs in particular will jump right out my head/mouth and I will calm down.

All in all, I think God is trying to work on my fears and my lack of faith in Him through showing me these verses, and just in time too; my whole life is about to change and change daily! Dear Lord, keep my eyes focused on You and help me to remember that You are my protector and strength! Amen!

ONE more time for listening!

Mark 4:25
    " 25 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”"

It's been a long time since I wrote a blog, and part of that is laziness, but part of it is because I want to keep my blog "real"; meaning I don't want to write an entry JUST to have an entry written. This is my own personal blog and no one is paying me to write it (does anyone WANT to pay me? I'd be ok with that!!) so I don't have a deadline to write things. That being said, I've missed writing my blog and today I was inspired to write a new one!

I have read this verse before, and at times just nodded my head and thought...yep, that's true! But today, I really looked at the verse. Today it spoke to me, if you will. I think it was the condition that caught my attention today. I know I've said this before, but it still seems to be ringing true in my life: I have a tendency to just skim over the words I'm reading in my Bible! This verse points out that particular habit of mine and paints it in a rather bad light as well!

How easy is it not to listen? If you have read my blog regularly, I'm betting you are thinking "um...Mrs. blog writer? Haven't you written this blog already this year?" and you'd be right! I did indeed write a blog about the version of this verse in Matthew back in January. But here's the thing, I still need to learn from it! I think that kind of proves the point that it's pretty easy NOT to listen!

I think that this is the year that God really teaches me a lesson about listening, and frankly I don't think it can come a minute too soon here either! I'm about to be a mother (6 1/2 weeks, for those who might be wondering or counting!!) and as far as I'm concerned, listening is a HUGE skill in mothering or parenting at all! I know that while I was growing up, especially in my dreaded teen years; I never thought my parents were listening to what I was saying. I thought they always just spoke right over my thoughts and tried to solve the problems without hearing the issues first. Now as an adult, I realize a good portion of that stems from the problem being the same over and over, but it doesn't change the fact that I wasn't feeling like I was being listened too. If I felt that way on a very teenaged, human level...what must God be feeling every time we just skim His word or ignore it all together?

This seemed to be a pretty big problem back when Jesus was walking this earth, so far I've found this verse in two of the Gospels so it must have been important enough that Jesus felt the need to point it out, and the writers felt the need to include it in their accounts of Jesus' life. I'm no scholar on the days of Jesus but I can only imagine that the distractions of that time, were nothing compared to the distractions of our technology age today. Think about all the things we have today, that even our parents didn't have. Of all that technology most of it is now mobile, so not only are we distracted at home, now we can be distracted on the go as well. God had to use some pretty big things to get the attention of the folks in Bible times, a massive flood, all the way to the death of His only Son; but if you've noticed, He keeps trying to get our attention.

I think the second part of this verse, the condition of: But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them, isn't what God wants for us. I think He wants to give us more knowledge and understanding, not take what little we have away. I can recall learning in Bible College that if something is important and you want your audience to remember it...then repeat it more then once. Jesus follows this practice on many occasions and this one is no different. He wants us to be listeners! He wants to grant us knowledge and understanding but we have to do our part to gain it. We have to listen, and not just the "in one ear and out the other" kind of listen but really pay attention to what it is He's trying to say to us, and try to learn from that bit of listening.

I have an example of this in my personal life. I think God's been trying to get me to listen to my health more for a long time; but He finally got my attention in the last several weeks when my doctor told me I have gestational diabetes. This particular form of diabetes is something that CAN happen to pregnant women, but my blood sugar issues are slightly different then most women who have GD. I won't go into details, but it seems that there have been some signs that I've had for awhile that I've been missing. Now that I know what is going on, and I'm listening to what my body is telling me, I'm much better off with several of those signs. I fully believe this was a "wake up call" if you will from God to start paying better attention to what I'm doing to my body, and not only that but I'm believing it IS an pregnancy issue that will go away once my precious daughter is in my arms. The point is, if I had been listening to my body all along; I might have known some things that would have made this "issue" a non issue to begin with; but I wasn't listening, I was just doing as I saw fit.

I don't want this same thing to happen in my spiritual life; as I know it has in the past. I want to listen and listen closely to what it is that God is telling me. Here's the thing, God doesn't just speak to us through His Word either, He speaks through others in our lives, so now I'm in the process of making sure that I LISTEN with my heart and mind at the same time and not leave God out of anything.

Lord, please help me to reconize when You are speaking to me, and really pay attention to Your words. Thank you, Amen!

the Power of Listening!

Matthew 13:12
      "12 To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them."

I seem to be finding gems in the Word that point out more reasons to keep reading through God's Word this year! Today as I was making my way through my Matthew readings I saw this verse, and it struck me as very true. When we listen, we learn so much; but when we don't listen...well, not so much learning happens then!

I have the perfect example, my cousin posted on her facebook site yesterday (she works with kindergarten children) that one of her students was, yet again telling her about their day, and she tuned them out. All she heard was blah, blah, blah, so when the child was done talking, she said "that's amazing", but as it turns out, the child was trying to tell them about something "bad" because the child had a confused look on their face and said, but it really hurts! Now I know this is somewhat of a silly example, but it's true, how often do we just tune out what is going on around us and miss what we were to have learned? I've done this time and time again to my poor husband (granted, he's done it to me as well, but that doesn't make it right!) and about half way through the conversation...something will trigger and I'll have to make him start all over again.

If I've done this to my earthly husband, whom I can see and actually hear; how much have I done this to my Heavenly Father? I can't see Him, and I can't touch Him; so I KNOW it's that much easier to ignore Him. But His Word points out to me that the more I listen, the more understanding I'll have; not to mention the extra knowledge! If there is one thing I've longed for my entire adult life, it's more understanding of God's word, and here I find that it's MY issue that I'm not gaining that understanding!

As it turns out, this whole "thing" with Jesus, really IS a relationship! I don't know how I've read through the Bible so many times and haven't seen these verses until now, but I have a pretty large feeling that it may have something to do with my listening skills! I think that I've been reading my Bible, but trying to make it say what I want it to say and only paying attention to those parts of the story. Last year, I found so many verses that I normally just skim over that I've really had to slow my reading down and actually listen to the words I'm reading. As an avid reader, that's a really hard thing for me to do! I devour books in my spare time and since my spare time isn't overly abundant, I devour those books at a quick pace; add to that the fact that I read my devotions in the parking garage (it's amazing how quiet a parking garage can be in the mornings!) and sometimes I'm running behind and you've got a recipe for not listening. I wonder why I expect, and get upset, when I feel like God isn't listening to me and my complaints; when I can't be bothered to take the time to listen to Him and His instructions!

I think it all comes back to that two way road of relationships. I also think that I am not keeping my end of that road intact! I'm going to have to work real hard at actually stopping my day to listen to what God is saying to me, through His word and His still small voice! Thank you Jesus for showing me, again, how important it is to listen to You!

Why I keep reading

Proverbs 3:1
    "1 My child,t never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart."

As I was reading my Bible this morning I saw this verse in Proverbs and it, of course, stopped me. Never forget the things I've taught you. That's not the easiest thing to do. I've found myself skimming through my Bible times and not really digesting what I've read, or even worse; this morning when I was reading I thought I'd use a verse for my blog and couldn't remember if I had blogged about it last year or not. I've now read through my "read it in a year" Bible 8 times and one would think that some of things would be sticking by now right? I promise, they are, but it's amazing what I find new each year. I have discovered that what I'm going through in my personal life will dictate what sticks out to me in my daily readings; but I've also discovered that as I read and reread the Bible every year, I make it past the "John 3:16"'s and start to get into more of the meat that I've been missing the last 30 or so years. Don't get me wrong, all those common verses are so wonderful and that's why we are taught them from birth; but what about the rest of the Bible? I'm finding that it's wonderful as well! I have had people tell me that 8 times through the bible is a lot and it is, but it's not near enough for me.

Let me give you this example. What is your favorite movie of all time? I can't even begin to narrow that one down, but let's say it's something like Lion King. So Lion King is your favorite movie of all time, how many times have you watched it? How much of the movie can you quote? I'm guessing the answer to both of those answers is "a lot" and if I'm right on that, are you board with the movie yet? Nope, and why is that? We aren't board with it yet because it's our favorite and every time we watch it, we see something new or learn another line from it that makes us smile. That's how I feel about reading the Bible every year. Although I do have to admit that I get confused with the order of the books because of the way my Bible is set up, but I am learning more and more of God's word though my constant re readings and I'm even starting to memorize more of it too.

So as my journey continues through this, my ninth time through the Bible, (that sure doesn't seem like a lot compared to my nearly 32 years of life) I'm looking to store as much of His commands into my heart as I can, and remember the many things He's taught me! I'm so thankful for whomever invented this blog thing, because it's just one more tool that I have to remember. I can go back and read everything I've written and see what lessons I've learned and which ones I need to continue learning. When I was checking to see if I'd used that other verse last year, I discovered there are several lessons that I need to revisit and relearn from this last year. Wish me luck!

Hukuna Matata...right?

Matthew 6:25-34
    "25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?
27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing,29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.
30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? 31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.
33 Seek the Kingdom of Godt above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

I know this is a long section of scripture, but I needed to have the whole section to write my blog today. Today is the first blog entry of 2012 (I'm such a slacker huh?) and part of the reason it's my first is because of exactly what this verse is talking about. Worry, and faith; well lack there of really. I know I've posted about my fears associated with this pregnancy; and let me tell you that the moment I wrote those fears down, I was much better about laying them at God's feet. Here's my problem: once I laid those down, I seemed to develop NEW fears!

Let me explain a thing or two. We already have established that I'm a planner; and that being a parent is about as far as you can get from being able to control a plan! I think I've already established that I'm a "rules" person as well; meaning I don't like to be in trouble. What does all of this have to do with my fears, and lack of faith in believing those fears? Well I'm not sure that they even really connect anywhere but in my mind. As I see it, sometimes my fears are based on "what if I do this wrong and get in trouble?" how silly is that? REAL silly, not only is that unlikely to happen...if it DOES happen, my God is a forgiving God! That point was driven home to me this morning as I was reading about worrying. Verse 30 says "30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?" Right there in black and white, I could see that my worrying was actually a lack of faith. Since I started this blog (just about about a year ago now) I've been exploring what I thought was a study in patience; and while I have learned a lot about that subject, I've discovered that patience is directly related to faith. I'm not sure why it surprised me that worrying is directly linked to a LACK of faith then, but it did!

I recently got to spend some time visiting with my family and when I'd tell my mom about my worrying; and what it was that was worrying me; she'd give me the typical mom answer of "why? that's nothing to worry about!" While it's good to hear that, it wasn't exactly what my heart was looking for at that moment. Sometimes our parents can be harsh; but then so can God. Jesus plainly said that worrying was showing a lack of faith, and that's harsh; but so did my mom only I didn't see it that way. In fact, when we were growing up, I used to hear my mom say "praise the Lord" all the time and I started to notice that I heard it more often if she was struggling with something or frustrated with something. I asked her about it, and she said that she was practicing what she'd learned as a child "in all things, Praise the Lord". Psalm 34:1 says " I will praise the LORD at all times. I will constantly speak his praises." and to my mom that meant even when she was scared or lonely; praise the Lord. To her it meant, when I don't know how this bill is going to be paid, or where this next meal is going to come from; Praise the Lord. My sister and I have adapted this but shorten it to PTL. I'll randomly say PTL and will get the most curious looks from people; which gives me an opportunity to explain it all to them!

In my worrying I'm learning some valuable lessons. The lessons are leading me straight back to my faith. I was going to pick a new word for the year 2012, but the more I look at it, the more I'm thinking I'll stick with my journey to learn patience, after all what would require more patience then having a baby right? And while I'm learning more about patience, I'm planning on learning so much more about my faith and how they are connected. Come along on the journey with me, who knows what gems I might find in the word this year!