Faith of a small seed: Fear: be GONE!

Luke 11:9-10

"9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."

It's been a very long time since I've posted to my blog, but I've been busy; with my baby girl! On April 4th, we welcomed our first child, Jantz Elaine into the world. Everything went just as planed until they told me her size! She was tiny! I was expecting an eight pounder and got myself a tiny 6 pound 3 ounce baby! No matter her size, she was perfect in every way, and she was ours!

When I got home from the hospital, I had some catching up to do in my daily readings. As most parents know, a brand new baby sleeps...a lot, so I had that time I needed to catch up. Boy was I in for a surprise! When I was reading the April 4th entry, I noticed I'd underlined a verse and dated it for 2011 (which normally means I've probably blogged about that verse at that time), and when I read this verse, I was floored! Luke 11:9-10, 9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened,

God had answered this prayer for me and my husband, and He'd done it EXACTLY one year later! God in His wisdom had been preparing us for our baby for a long time, but when I was desperate and clinging to His word, He sent me a promise that I didn't even see!

When I started this blog back in early 2011, I was struggling with patience, patience to wait on God's timing for us to have/start a family. I blogged about this lack of faith that I had seemed to develop when it came to waiting. While I was blogging, I was learning; learning that God does indeed work in mysterious ways. After all, I was seeing things in my prayer life, in my devotional life and my personal life grow and blossom all because I was admitting on a regular basis that I wasn't "perfect" or even close to it. I had never expected to learn those things in my blogging journey; but here I was learning!

At the beginning of this year, I changed my focus a little bit to my debilitating fear about my pregnancy and getting to the end of it. I was SURE that the second she was born, my fear would just vanish. BOY, was I wrong! It multiplied 10 fold! I would have moments when I was supposed to be sleeping that I was crying out to God in my heart, begging Him to protect her, because my heart was stopping at the thought of things like SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and how I couldn't do anything about it. I guess God isn't done with me just yet huh? He's teaching me to trust Him and place my most precious thing, my daughter, into His arms. I admit, 8 weeks later, I'm STILL trying to trust in this notion. I still have those heart stopping moments when I can't be sure if she's breathing or what will happen in the future. But God is working on me, showing me how to let go of that fear.

Jeremiah 42:11 says "Your fears are for nothing. I'm on your side, ready to save and deliver you from anything he might do." My fears are for nothing, I do not HAVE to fear because I know that God is on my side, ready to save and deliver me! How comforting that thought can be, if I can just keep it in the fore thoughts going through my head. It's a constant battle against the fear that I've let creep into my life. I will have to keep reminding myself what God said through Jeremiah here.

I have a new fear coming up as well. I have to go back to work on Monday. I have to take my precious baby and leave her with strangers EVERY DAY so that I can earn enough money to help with our monthly incomes, and keep us in insurance. I'm not sure how I'll be on Monday, but I can tell you this; joy will probably NOT be at the top of my list of feelings, and I'm sure fear will be. I have no idea what my actual reactions will be, but I know that with God on my side I will have nothing to fear. Now if I can just get my heart to understand what my head is reading!

Thanks for listening to my rant on fears, and as my gift to you (and my love of my child!) I give you several pictures of our newest member!