My Prayer for the Bean

Proverbs 23: 15-16

     "15 My child, if your heart is wise,
my own heart will rejoice!

16 Everything in me will celebrate
when you speak what is right."

This is an "official" announcement that at least part of my patience journey has come to an end. As of last Friday, October 14, 2011; I am 12 weeks pregnant! I've been wanting to blog about this for a very long time, but having had so many issues getting TO this point, I was overly worried about complications; which only proves that a good portion of that patience journey is NOT over! :-)

Several weeks ago, while I was reading through my daily devotions, I ran across this verse in Proverbs. What a beautiful prayer that is for my unborn child. The first time I read it, I was nearly brought to tears, because it truly is my prayer and wish for my baby; that my child have a wise heart and speak what's right.

The Message Paraphrase of this verse is beautiful "15 Dear child, if you become wise, I'll be one happy parent.16 My heart will dance and sing to the tuneful truth you'll speak." I ADORE this version of this verse, partly because it's so true and partly because I love the image of my heart dancing and singing! As I look at this, it becomes apparent that not only is this my prayer for my Bean (that's what my sister lovingly nick named my baby!) but it is also God's prayer for ME. My Bean isn't the only one who needs to become wise, I still have a long way to go in that journey as well.

If being pregnant has done anything for me, it's made me realize that I need God more then ever now. I've been struggling with fear since the day I found about the baby, I've had so much fear that I haven't really let myself enjoy the pregnancy part of this journey. My wonderful husband and I have been married for 10 years, and they have been AWESOME years, but with a baby on the way; our whole lives are about to change. The number one key to our relationship (in both of our humble opinions!) is communication. The last 10 years have been one big talk about every little thing. One of the fears, is that we will some how lose that communication and along with it, some of our closeness. How do we go from being a "couple" to a "family"? How can we afford for me to work? How can we afford for me NOT to work? The fear has, at times, been crippling.

I often find myself praying desperately that God would take away my fears and bring me to a place of peace, which He does, then I end up picking that fear right back up and trying to walk around with it again...I don't appear to be the quickest learner out there! As I've been using this prayer for a Bean prayer, I'm starting to see how God is saying the same thing to me, nearly begging me to invest some time in becoming wise. I need it too! Being a parent isn't going to be easy, and I WILL mess it up, but I know that by the grace of God and the wisdom He grants me that I can do this! I can leave this baby in His hands and know that all will be well.

Challenge in Patience Update 4

Ephesians 1:15-19
     "16 I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly,17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdomt and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.
18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.t19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him.

Last month, I updated that I was learning so much through this practice, and that is still the case this month! I do not have daily contact with any of my patience peeps any more, but I do have daily contact with God; and through that daily contact I have kept my prayers for my peeps flowing. The more I learn about patience, the more I understand that it's a process. I am not going to achieve it in five minutes, as I had originally hoped. But I will have to work at it, and continue to discover new aspects of it everyday of my life. That's how I have started to feel about my Challenge in Patience. The original challenge will be up next month, but I plan to keep praying and waiting to see the awesome things God has in store for these five people.

The verses I chose this month are as much for me as for the challenge. I want to pray this prayer, and mean every line of it. Have you ever said a prayer, just because you "had" to? I've fallen into that several times through out my challenge. I pray for my peeps purely because it's what I promised to do...not because I MEAN what I'm praying. Six months is a very long time to pray, and not feel like I'm seeing many results, but I can not see what God is doing in a person that I don't have daily contact with, now can I? But I can learn to trust in Him whom I'm praying to.

It's amazing what lessons I've realized are hidden within my "big" lesson. This issue of trust, it's been a big one for me lately, and I see how it's directly related to my patience issues. If I am not trusting in God, how can ANYTHING happen? All of the miracles that I'm waiting to see, they are directly related to my trust in God. I have to learn trust, to accomplish patience. I've written about this before, only I called trust by it's original name (at least in my opinion) of faith. Dictionary.com defines faith as: confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability. The Bible defines faith for us in Hebrews 11:11 "1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."  So it appears, to me at least, that my trust/faith issue is a big part of my lack of patience.

If We don't....then who will?

My handy dandy verse finder is "down" today, so I'm just going to have to wing it!

Last night on my way home from work, the radio station I was listening to was discussing a guest that had been on the Ellen Show recently. You may have seen the show; with Marc Martel, lead singer of a Christian band, singing a Queen song on Ellen. The controversy began with the fact that he was singing a song written by a man who lead a gay life style and died from it as well, then to have him preform the song on Ellen, who is currently living in that lifestyle got the debate going more. The station (a Christian station) DJ made a wonderful point that we are all sinners, and that if we heard any song on the radio during his show, the button was pushed by a sinner, so we could hear it.

I thought about this all evening long last night, and during my prayer time, I found myself praying about it. I'm a FIRM believer that we, as Christians, are to show Christ's love to the world. By doing this, we are to model ourselves after Him, at least that's how I see it. If I'm modeling myself after Christ; then I would see how He hung out with the sinners all the time, even his closest friends had some pretty serious flaws. But the Christ I see in scripture (this would be where my handy dandy search machine would come in handy!) He loves them, He sees them as His children! What an awesome image that is, because if we are all honesty, even just a little bit; we have sinned. I have sinned, I doubt, I judge (notice how these are all in the PRESENT tense?), I lie, I do all kinds of things that are sin. Yet, through all my sinning; I can see God growing me and teaching me lessons; lessons on love and forgiveness. If Christ loved ME enough to show me those things, who could I assume He loves someone ELSE less?

All this to say, If WE don't show people the love of Christ, who will? When I die, and get to meet my Savior face to face, I want to hear Him say "Well done, my good and faithful servant, well done." I don't want to hear Him say "Who are you? I don't know you." I want to be an agent of His love, because His love, grace and mercy are the things that have saved me; how could they do less for others?

The Queen song that was sung, Somebody To Love, says a lot about how Freddie Mercury must have been feeling at that point in his life. In the song, he is actually praying and begging God to find him somebody to love, what a picture that is to me! I know that I have felt that way before, and I know that my reaction was the same, PLEASE God, find someone to love me! God's reassuring answer is, I already have; I sent you My Son who loves you very much. Thank you so much Lord! How can I ever thank You enough? I know one thing, I can't keep this love to myself, I have to share it with those who need it, long for it, are searching for it. Lord, give me Your eyes to see the lost and hurting everywhere around me.