Peace that passes MY understanding!

2 Timothy 1:7

   "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline"

You might ask why I start a blog about peace off with a verse on fear, but to me it's simple. I claim this verse as my "peace" verse. Let me explain that a little bit. I have to start off with my Church service this weekend. Our church is doing a series entitled "I Quit", and this week, we "quit" living in fear. While my pastor was laying this on the table for us, I kept thinking, fear is the opposite of peace. Pastor Craig (lifechurch.tv) explained that our biggest fear is what we trust Jesus with the least. I had to agree with that. My biggest fear is my health and never being able to have a baby. As previously stated, this is a HUGE faith issue with me, and for me, faith = trust. I had to take that one step more and say that for me faith/trust in God would equal peace in my soul. How many of us long for peace? I know several military wives read this blog, and I'm sure each of you raised your hands when asked that question. But I'm talking of a different kind of peace, a much more personal kind of peace. The peace that really does pass all understanding.

What kind of peace is that? It's the kind of peace that settles into your soul, that will allow for that "still small voice" to speak to you. When this happens, at least for me, it seems to happen amongst the chaos of my life. Out of nowhere, I'll experience a peace that really won't make any sense. I'll be going along with my day, stressing out over this or that; when something will pop out at me, or someone will say something to be that will hit that spot, that "peace spot". Once this happens, it's as if I'm in a different mind set or mood then I was before. God will grant me that peace in a place I never would have expected peace to come to me.

I don't know if my words are conveying my thoughts correctly today, but I know that sometimes I need that peace more then I need my next breath; and that is the EXACT moment that God grants it to me. Psalm 34:4 says "I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears." This was another verse that our pastor used this week. I can't help but think about those times I've cried out to God, heartbroken and bruised, and He's answered with that peace, a peace that instantly freed me from my fears.

A Small Side Note

So far this week, I've been talking about the fruit of the Spirit, which I didn't know I was going to do; until it was already done! I'll continue my thoughts on the rest of the gifts next week, but for today...I have a small side note to add.

This coming July, Michael and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary. That is a rather large milestone in this day and age! The reason I mention that NOW, instead of 7 months down the road is because of a video I watched on a friends facebook page. This video was a random tribute to military wives, and if you can get through the relative immaturity of the man doing the video, is VERY touching. Now Michael has never been a part of our military, at least not in the sense most people think of. When Michael and I married, nearly 10 years ago, he was a solider of a different kind. He was a full time youth pastor. You may not understand what I mean by a solider, but I contend he was fighting for the very souls of the young adults in his youth group.

This video I watched, commented on how MW's (military wives!) have to suffer through so very much in their marriages, due to deployments, playing second fiddle to Uncle Sam, moving every five minutes, and basically raising children on their own. I have to 100% agree with this. Since I've moved to Oklahoma five years ago, I've come to know several MW's very well, and they do indeed suffer due to those things. In fact, one of my dear MW friends, is getting ready to move in less then a month and it's breaking my heart to think about it! But as I sat watching this video, and listening with a "military spouse" mind, I started thinking about my life as a PW (pastor's wife). It it started to dawn on me that our lives are not that much different. I never had to deal with deployments, but I sure as heck had to play second fiddle to the Church, and in the course of 4 years, we moved 5 times. We still don't have children, so I never had to deal with that; but I know several PW's that have been the lone person at a child's soccer game because daddy had to deal with an emergency with a church family member.

Now I want to point out something here. Well, two things actually; first: I don't begrudge ANY MW's getting attention for one of the hardest jobs in America, and I think that you deserve so much more then you are getting! and 2nd: I wasn't kidding when I said church FAMILY. We are just that, a wonderful family that is there to take care of one another. We are to be there when one of us is in crisis (maybe a MW's husband has been deployed, or a child is in the hospital or any number of things that could happen to any one family), and we are too rejoice with one another as well (marriage, birth of a child, becoming a Christian, a job well done at work or school).

I think part of me has bonded so well with my MW friends because of the life I lead as a PW. I understand the loneliness that can be involved, I understand that you go where he's called to go (be it by God or Uncle Sam), and I understand that even when he's there...he's not really all yours. He could be called away at any time, be it the day after he gets home, on vacation or just during the one night this year you've managed to have a "date" with him. And then, I think, the other part is bonding with my dear friends because I want to help my country as well. I want to give them a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand when they need it (my MW friend was once a recipient of a "random lawn mowing" while her husband was deployed!!) or even just be there to talk to when they are lonely. I hope all of my MW friends know this.

I think about my facebook list, and I see (in my head) a lot of military people, wives, kids and at least one fiancée. And then I think again, and I see (again in my head) so many pastors, PW's and PK (pastor kids) and the many volunteers who shape peoples lives through ministry. Then I have to stop and think, I am a blessed women. Not only do I know so many people who have giving their lives to serving God and their country; but I have been numbered among them too. Thank you so much for all you do military, and pastoral staffs! But thank you EVEN more to the many PW's, PK's, MW's and MK's that have given mommy or daddy or spouse up to the cause of God and country. You are a truly rare breed; and you should be praised!

"Self" control

Matthew 1:26

    "Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I have started this particular blog three times now. Three times, I've attempted to say something about Self-Control, and twice now, I've started over. This particular subject is turning out to be something of a challenge for me to write. That comes as somewhat of a surprise to me, and I'm sure to some who know my history. In the past, I've been "good" at this self-control thing. I just determine that I want to do something, and do it. But as I've grown older, wiser...and I'm guessing somewhat lazier, my self-control has slipped by the way side. I can no longer look at myself in the mirror, see something that needs changing and just like that; be able to fix the behavior that caused the issue. Why is my self-control slipping? Why can't I just be like I was 15 years ago when I decided caffeine wasn't for me? Well I'm thinking that old self-control was all about ME and had very little to do with God.

I have quoted the verse at the top of my post over and over and over again to myself and people who need encouraging in something. So why am I still struggling? I think I've some how missed the point of the verse. Or maybe, I am just talking, and not ACTING on the verse. I seem to be connecting this back to my first blog; Faith of a Small Seed, in my head. I KNOW that all things are possible with Christ, but do I really believe it? And if I do believe it, do I act on that belief? I feel like Satan has done a superb job of distracting me from living out this verse. Why should I, a sinner, have the privilege of even coming to Christ, let alone asking his help to do something? Maybe this self-control, or lack there of, is why my TMJ is still lingering when both my mother and grandmother were healed of it?

Dictionary.com defines self-control this way: control or restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings, etc. For once, it seems that the word is easily defined; so much so that this one definition was given and that was it. I would say that self-control in a Biblical sense would have to be defined differently. It would have to say something like: control or restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings etc; through the strength of Jesus Christ. Adding that last part would mean that we, as humans, can have no self-control. However, there is hope yet...because we CAN add Jesus to that definition! By adding Jesus you are again brought back to the verse "Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." (Matthew 1:26).

What does that mean to me? It means that in my own strength I will fail, but with Christ at my helm I am ready to fly! I can do ANYTHING with Him, be it move a mountain, be healed of my TMJ, or something as simple as loving my life...I can do it with Christ! So now my prayer list not only includes praying for that faith of a mustard seed, and praising God for granting me patience; but it now includes me laying it all at His feet, giving Him the control to make my "self" control doable! Thank you Jesus!

Patience

Romans 15:5

"May God, who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus."

At the beginning of this year, when we were all making resolutions that we are bound to break 4-6 weeks later, I had a friend post something on Facebook that gave me pause. She mentioned that instead of making a ton of resolutions that she can't/won't keep she was going to chose a word for the year. This made total sense to me. I have tried year, after year to make the same resolutions last in my life, but I continue to fail. So I thought about that for a little while and I realized that I had the perfect word for my life, that word is Patience. Now, my mother always used to tell us as kids that she prayed for patience once and ended up with an ADD kid, so be careful what you pray for! As a kid, I'd always taken that joking advice to heart, but now as an adult; I feel like I might have somehow cheated myself. The Bible tells us that patience is a fruit of the Spirit, "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (Galatians 5:22 and 23). Now I don't know about you, but I feel like love, joy, and peace; at the very least, are GREAT gifts. and if these things are gifts, then wouldn't it stand that patience too, is a gift?

Let's start with a definition of patience. Dictionary.com defines patience this way: quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience. to be fair, that is just one of the definitions they listed, but it seemed to be the one that defined the gift of patience to me most. Something about a quiet, steady perseverance seems to scream Jesus to me. When I'm reading in the gospels about Jesus, I just FEEL His peace and perseverance seep into me. In fact, a lot of the book of Proverbs seems to talk to the even-tempered care. Hmm...as I'm writing this, I seem to be learning more and more about my special word for the year! I once did a study on "controlling your words" based on the Bible. It wasn't a book, it was just me highlighting and underlining all of the times that controlling what you say was mentioned in the Bible. It turns out that most of these references, well at least the ones that I remember anyway, are in Palms and Proverbs, so I'm looking at the even-tempered care from that prospective and seeing how patience would be a huge plus in controlling my words as well.

I just discovered a great illustration on the gift of patience. This gift is Amish Friendship Bread. I've never had this bread before today, but a co-worker handed me a starter kit last week along with the instructions. I was not prepared to "babysit" this bread, but I knew my husband (who is the cook in the family anyway) liked the concept, so I reluctantly agreed to take the starter bag. My husband was, indeed, eager to make the bread, so we followed the instructions everyday, almost making it a game in my head so that I would remember to do it. Last night was our "baking" night, so he added the final ingredients and off to the oven it went. it smelled so wonderful while it was baking, but I was just too full to eat any of it last night. My husband, being the sweetheart that he is, put a piece in my lunch box for a snack. I just discovered said snack about 20 minutes ago, and toasted and buttered it up. The very first bite that I took was heavenly! I LOVE this bread, and I'm reminded that I didn't even want to be bothered with it to begin with. However, my husband's patience rubbed off on me and I received one of the best gifts of bread today! What a beautiful picture of patience! What starts off as a gooey, slimey mess turns into a wonderful treat with just a little bit of patience (and ingredients) added!

The same could be said for my life, what starts out as an ooey, gooey mess; when added to a little bit of Heavenly patience becomes a Master Peice in the eyes of our Creator. So now, not only am I praying for the faith of a mustard seed, I'm praising God for his patience in me as well!

Faith of a small seed

Matthew 17:20
    "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."


I sat in my car this morning doing my devotions (I do them in the parking garage at work, so I don't have any distractions!) and this verse came up and bit me in the rear, if you will. You see, I have a lot of medical "issues" that I would love to be rid of. One of those issues is TMJ. TMJ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temporomandibular_joint_disorder) is something that causes me to grind my teeth, clench my jaw and give me headaches. I've had this disorder for a long time and I've always wanted to be rid of it. My mother used to have the same issue, and when I asked her what she did to get rid of it, she simply answered "I prayed it away". what a beautiful and simple solution, right? well I've been trying to do that now for about 10 years. Every time I read this passage, I think of my mother and how she was able to rid herself of something based purely on her faith. Why can't I have that kind of faith?


The little mustard seed is just that, LITTLE; yet I can't seem to get enough faith to fill it up. think about that, the mustard seed is the smallest seed that a farmer in Jesus time would have known about.  How many seeds would it have taken to fill up one's hand? I don't know...and I can't find it on the Internet anywhere, but I'm sure it was a lot. if all we need is the faith of ONE little mustard seed to move a mountain, how come I can't pray away something as simple as TMJ?


It all comes down to faith.  What is faith anyway? Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1, KJV).  The NLT version states it this way "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Again, this seems pretty simple to me, but I can't seem to get there. I can't seem to have that confidence that it WILL happen for me. TMJ isn't the only area in my life that I struggle with this, but for today's purposes that's the one I'm sticking with.


I know that both of these verses are true, and both have a huge significance in my life. That being said, what is my weapon here? Prayer. I think I've been going about this whole thing wrong. I've been praying that God would take away my TMJ, when in actuality I should have been praying that God would teach me to have the faith of a mustard seed. They tell us in everything we do, we should do it in baby steps. so this is my first step. I'm praying that the Lord will teach me to have the faith of something as small as a mustard seed.