"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act."
Have you ever had one of those days where it seems like God is REALLY trying to get your attention? I had one of those moments this morning. I was reading along in my Bible, trying to concentrate on the words and still pray about things at the same time (note to readers, this is cheating both your prayer time AND your study time...not a good idea for me!) when out of no where, Psalm 37:7 hits me.
As I've stated before, I've really been struggling with two things in particular, trying to get pregnant and dealing with my TMJ, which seems to be getting worse as I age. When one is looking to be something (pregnant, married, dating, promoted, however one is looking to change their station) it seems as if everyone around them is getting what they want, but themselves. For the last several years, this has been my outlook with pregnancy, it's everywhere around me, but never me. I have to fight a constant battle not to get depressed about it, and sometimes I win, and sometimes I don't. So that is one of the main reasons that I chose the word patience as my "life word" for this year. I realized that I wasn't being patient and I wasn't waiting on God's timing, and even worse then that, I wasn't letting God be God and work a miracle in my life.
So I chose patience, and then promptly went on with my life exactly as I was before. I thought about it, and prayed about it, once in awhile; but other then that it was business as usual in my life. It's funny how God can use the most mundane things to turn you back towards His path isn't it? One day I'm discussing an idea in scripture with my best friend and then I'm writing a blog on a regular basis. You see, God has a plan for my life this year (and every year) but I think His plan for me is playing out in my blog. I think He's teaching me the true meaning of the word Patience. I feel as if He's trying to tell me something through his word, and today, that word was this "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act." There are two commands there, first Be Still. If you have ever met me, you'll know that being still, isn't impossible for me, but it isn't something I do well. Let me rephrase that, give me a good book and I can be still for hours, but that isn't being still in the presence of the Lord. I'm a talker, and whenever I try to be still in His presence, I last about 30 seconds and then I'm talking to God, not listening. Then God tells me to wait patiently for Him to act. Here again, I am a planner, I like to know what's going to happen WAY in advance of it actually happening, just ask my poor husband how I do "vacations" and he'll tell you, she plans them and I go along.
So how do I do these things? Be still in His presence and wait patiently for Him to act? That is my journey of 2011 folks, to learn better how to do these things. For now, I'll keep praying for that patience that is eluding me and keep reading His word. After all, it seems that doing that brings me a new insight every day! I will also keep blogging, why? Because if I write it down, then I can go back and read my journey through the year, and Even if no one else is reading my blog; I am and it's helping me!
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