Longing

Psalm 38:9  
    "You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh."

As defined my Dictionary.com, longing is: strong, persistent desire or craving, especially for something unattainable or distant. A persistaent desire or craving, yep...that sounds like me and most of America too!

I don't mean to sound ugly there, but it seems to be true, as Americans, we are always longing for something more, more money, more prestieage, more of the next best thing. Some of us may have some very noble longings as well, longing for a mate, children or to help somone and the like. I know that the strongest desire of my heart right now is to become pregnant, but I then turn around and crave things that I shouldn't;  like sweet or fried foods. My body seems to be waging a war against it's self, pulling me one way and then another.

This morning I came across this verse in my daily reading and it hit me as a comfort. We are told in the new testament that "the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words." (Romans 8:26) between these two verses, I'm seeing a pattern, a pattern that says God knows, and when we are at a loss for words, the Holy Spirit will pray about it for us.

I have been there, many a time; when I didn't have the words to express my hurt, my pain or my joy in something;  and I have felt the Holy Spirt take over for me. I would feel a peace settle over me and know that God was hearing what it was that I couldn't find the words to say. This isn't a common thing for me, but it's happend enough that I know it's true. When I read this verse this morning, I felt that same "sigh" of peace flood through me, that feeling of "why should I struggle with this, when God already knows?" But, oh, how I struggle anyway. I lay something at His throne and then trun around when I'm done praying and pick it right back up, carry it with me and go about my life. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's done this, but why have I done it? Why can't I learn to leave my troubles with the Lord? I have no idea. If anyone out there in blogger land has any ideas on this, please let me know!

For now, I'm just thankful that "You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh." So I'll continue to rest in that knowledge that you hear my heartache, and you will listen to my sighs. Thank you Jesus for knowing and listening; it means the world to a girl who just wants to be heard.