11 While Zechariah was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the incense altar. 12 Zechariah was shaken and overwhelmed with fear when he saw him. 13 But the angel said, “Don’t be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John. 14 You will have great joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, 15 for he will be great in the eyes of the Lord. He must never touch wine or other alcoholic drinks. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit, even before his birth 16 And he will turn many Israelites to the Lord their God. 17 He will be a man with the spirit and power of Elijah. He will prepare the people for the coming of the Lord. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and he will cause those who are rebellious to accept the wisdom of the godly.”
18 Zechariah said to the angel, “How can I be sure this will happen? I’m an old man now, and my wife is also well along in years.”
19 Then the angel said, “I am Gabriel! I stand in the very presence of God. It was he who sent me to bring you this good news! 20 But now, since you didn’t believe what I said, you will be silent and unable to speak until the child is born. For my words will certainly be fulfilled at the proper time.”
Sometimes, when I'm reading my Bible, I find myself really identifying with someone. While I was enjoying my reading time this morning, I read this portion of scripture, and while I can really identify with it, I didn't understand JUST how much until I read a portion of scripture a little bit further on in Luke. That portion, Luke 1:42-56 "42 Elizabeth gave a glad cry and exclaimed to Mary, “God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed. 43 Why am I so honored, that the mother of my Lord should visit me? 44 When I heard your greeting, the baby in my womb jumped for joy. 45 You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.”
The Magnificat: Mary’s Song of Praise
46 Mary responded,“Oh, how my soul praises the Lord.
47 How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!
48 For he took notice of his lowly servant girl,
and from now on all generations will call me blessed.
49 For the Mighty One is holy,
and he has done great things for me.
50 He shows mercy from generation to generation
to all who fear him.
51 His mighty arm has done tremendous things!
He has scattered the proud and haughty ones.
52 He has brought down princes from their thrones
and exalted the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
and sent the rich away with empty hands.
54 He has helped his servant Israel
and remembered to be merciful.
55 For he made this promise to our ancestors,
to Abraham and his children forever.” , points out Mary's reaction to the news that she is carrying the Son of God. Mary just jumps right in with both feet, and believes without ever seeming to falter. How difficult would that be? I mean, Mary was engaged to be married, and finding herself with child; without having done anything to GET with child, but she doesn't argue or anything; just believed and rejoiced about it.
Now Zachariah, HE had the response I would have had in his situation. He looked at the angel and said, HOW? How can Elizabeth conceive, we are old! I have felt that way, a lot; and on my journey to learning faith and patience, I'm feeling that way now. HOW God? HOW can I conceive, HOW can I be healed, HOW can I do what You want me to do with my life? HOW God, HOW? In my heart, I KNOW that God can do anything, and I've read it in the scriptures that all things are possible with God; but I, like Zachariah, have a hard time convincing my head of those same facts. I'm a fairly logical person, I like things in order and I LOVE having my routines. In fact, I have a hard time functioning when my routine is thrown off. I can adapt, I've learned how, but I'm much more comfortable in my routines; so when God throws a wrench at me, I tend to get uncomfortable. With what I've been learning in my faith/patience journey; I know this isn't the right "answer" or response, but again I can't wrap my head around that concept.
Sometimes I be-moan my personality traits, that have me fighting God's will in my life. The same traits that make just simply having faith on certain things so hard for me. I am coming to the realization that it might be things that directly concern ME that I have so little faith in. I seem to have faith that things will happen for others, for example; I have faith and know in my heart AND head that a few single people in my life have "God appointed" mates just waiting for them, but I can't seem to wrap my faith around the fact that I'm not pregnant yet. How does that make any sense? How come my faith is so big for others, and so small for myself? Do I subconsciously believe that I don't deserve the good things God has in store for me? Or is it more to the angle of "I've already been given SO much, I can't possibly have anything else in store" kind of thing? I think that this is an issue that I've struggled with for most of my life. I've always had low self esteem, and it feels as if God is talking to me about this as I'm typing. He's telling me that I DO deserve everything that He's got in store for me, that He is all I'll ever need, in fact, He's MUCH more then that.
I want to praise God for my hurt right now, I want to say to Him, thank You, I'm pretty bull headed, but I think I'm starting to hear you now. I love You, Lord; and I still need Your help to make it through on a daily basis...and to keep telling me how much I'm loved, cherished and blessed. I know in my heart that You've got healing, and great surprises in store for me, I pray that you would help my head to have faith in that as well. Thank You Lord!
No comments:
Post a Comment