I have to be quiet too?

Psalm 62:1-2

   "1 I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken."


I've been posting about my journey this year, a journey to healing and patience and more, in essence I've been posting about my journey to victory. But wait, what is this I read? It appears that my victory comes from waiting quietly before God? Oh dear, I'm in trouble now. Waiting quietly is not something that comes easy to me. Throughout my life time, I've been accused; repeatedly, of being a talker. Even to this day, my husband will get overly frustrated with me because I will try to finish his sentences when he pauses. Not only that, but I'm not one who deals with silences; be they awkward or not. So how am I going to achieve victory?

I guess I'm going to have to learn to wait quietly huh? Posting about this seems rather ironic to me, because in my posting...I'm not be quiet! That aside, I do think that I'm learning a lot about this particular aspect; again it's going back to my patience...or lack there of. That "fear" of quiet that I seem to have, it marks me as impatient and has me coming off as somewhat spoiled too. I don't want to blame my upbringing, but I was raised in America; where the culture has been screaming at me to have it my way, right away for my entire life. I'm coming to the conclusion that America MAY have gotten this wrong...huh, what a surprise right? I don't NEED to have everything my way and I REALLY don't need to have it right now. I have discovered that good things honestly DO come to those who wait!

For instance, when God blesses us with a child, I know that child will be loved, well taken care of and raised in the ways of the Lord. If God had blessed us with a bundle of joy when we first got married, I'm pretty sure some of those things would have been lacking. I can look at my journey now compared to then and see that I've grown leaps and bounds in my spiritual walk and my "health" walk as well. I wouldn't have been able to teach my child about the joys of exercising and eating right, because I didn't know there was any joy in those things 10 years ago. I hadn't learned yet that waiting brings better things to me. I wouldn't have had even a tenth of the spiritual knowledge that I'm gaining now, because I hadn't lived the pain, or fear or happiness that life brings you yet. This verse would have meant something totally different to me 10 years ago, it would and DID mean something totally different to me 4 years ago.

I've mentioned before that I underline and date passages in my Bible as I'm reading so that I can see where my walk was and is. This verse is one that was was underlined and dated in 2007. I was going through a rough spot at work, not making enough money; and having issues with those I worked with. So then, I was claiming the victory through a new job, today I'm learning what it means to take that step and actually be quiet with the Lord. So now this verse has a positive meaning to it, where as 4 years ago it was a desperate plea from a torn and breaking person.

So through this journey, I'm learning that my rock never shall be shaken, and I'm learning that this is due to MY posture with God, the way I act toward Him, and what He's done in my life. Instead of demanding things from Him, I'm learning to wait quietly on Him and know that He is my salvation and that He's my rock that will never be shaken. Through all that I've learned, I'm sad of one thing; and that is that I didn't stop talking and start listening a long time ago!