"13 But I keep praying to you, Lord,
hoping this time you will show me favor.
In your unfailing love, O God,
answer my prayer with your sure salvation."
In this Psalm (written by David) I see a cry of my heart. Scripture tells us that David was a man after God's own heart, (Acts 13:22) "22 But God removed Saul and replaced him with David, a man about whom God said, ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart. He will do everything I want him to do.’" But throughout the Psalms we see David struggling and doubting. When I read this Psalm and see David, the famed man after God's own heart say, "13 But I keep praying to you, Lord, hoping this time you will show me favor.", I can begin to feel a peace about my doubts and fears. Now that peace doesn't make those fears right, just let's me know that I'm not the only one who has ever had those doubts.
There is something else that I noticed about this verse though, DIRECTLY after saying that he kept praying hoping God would favor him this time, David throws this gem out there "In your unfailing love, O God, answer my prayer with your sure salvation." He recognizes that God's love is unfailing, and that His salvation is sure. David prays like this a lot in the Psalms, he'll voice his frustrations and then turn around and say, but Your will is what I want in my life, God; Your salvation is what will save me. How wonderful for me to see this, and again learn how to voice my doubts but also see that I need to acknowledge God's sovereignty in my life!
I have issues falling asleep at night a lot, and last night as I was trying to get my body to relax enough to fall asleep; I realized that I was grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw again. Whenever I find myself falling into the habits of my TMJ, I take that opportunity to pray that I be healed. As I started that prayer last night, I stopped mid way through and chuckled (to myself, my husband already thinks I'm crazy enough!) and re started my prayer to say "Thank you Lord, for reminding me that I need to pray!" How often do I fall into that routine of give me, give me, give me? I wrote about it last week; and it appears I haven't yet learned that lesson. When I prayed that way, even though I was chuckling, I felt almost like a failure. Here I was again, falling into old habits and not learning those new lessons that God has been sending my ways. In the Bible, Paul talks about his prayer for healing in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. And now I have to wonder if God might not be sending me the same message. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” That was how I felt last night, when I thought to myself, if it weren't for this pain; would I have remembered to pray tonight? I don't know that I would have, and if I did...would it have been the concentrated prayer time that I had last night?
I'm not kidding when I say that I love to talk; and I end up talking "to myself" all of the time. When I was younger I used to joke that I was talking to God, because He was the only one listening! As I've grown older, I've tried to make that joke into a reality. That is, when I'm hashing out a problem through talking; I try to make that talking time a prayer. This practice has made for a more rich prayer time, but not always the most focused prayer time. So now, I'm adding this theory that when I'm reminded to pray for my healing, I'll try to remind myself to focus my prayer and pray for those around me as well.
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